Got to Canton on Wednesday. Enrolled the kids on Thursday. On Friday had to get Melee' a haircut at the barber shop, because evidently, the Principal at the Intermediate school doesn't recognize a rockstar/flag football quarterback/baseball player/motocross legend in the making when she sees one. On the plus side, haircuts at the local barber shop are only nine bucks and take over forty-five minutes, so we got our money's worth.
We met Peach's new teacher and if you can even believe it, she's our new neighbor. (Or will be once our house is built.) I am SO relieved and excited! Melee's teacher looks fresh out of college, so I look for him to have a great year! John's school handed me his paperwork and then gave me the big brush off. Well, two out of three ain't bad.
Our builder staked out the house on the lot we thought we were going to choose. But the shape of the lot is narrow at the front and the house is so wide that when he scooted the house back to fit it on the lot, the neighborhood playground was a little bit in front of the left side of the house. So we are going back down to the other corner lot that we were looking at in the beginning and it looks like a much better fit. Hopefully our paperwork will be complete and dirt work will get started after January 1st. And maybe I will have the right kind of cord to connect my phone and download a picture or two.
Seven of us and a dog living in my Mom's house for the next four (to six) months ought to be interesting. The dog has already gotten out of the backyard more in the last three days than she has in her whole career with our family. We've put two runners in her carpet, I spilled chili on the new kitchen rug, and we've stopped up the kitchen sink once. We may need someplace to hangout right around Spring Break, or maybe by MLK.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Gross Foot Picture Alert
Or
How I Spent My Thanksgiving
This is me and Charlie on Surgery Day. He's trying to keep it light by taking pictures.
This is me and Charlie much later in the week, when I gave him a lesson about taking pictures from above so that you don't take pictures of your double chins. But I digress.
This is me trying hard not to look at the I.V. that has been inserted into my right hand. Have I mentioned that I hate needles?
Before surgery. Y is for "Yes, this is the correct foot on which to operate." I also have a Y on the back of that thigh for "Yes, this is the correct knee in which to insert the nerve block." and one on the front of my thigh just to make me feel like they've covered all the bases.
This is me catching the Colbert Report post surgery. I really don't remember much about post surgery. Except the part where he came in and I asked him if I had a fused toe or a regular toe and he said "You won't remember this, but the cartalidge was in really good shape so we didn't have to fuse the toe." and because he said I wouldn't remember it, I made a concerted effort to prove him wrong. Because I'm stubborn like that.
Back to the office on Monday where I get to see the foot post-surgery for the first time. Did I mention that you're not allowed to wear any polish for surgery? Otherwise you would not be looking at nasty plain toenails.
IT'S ALIVE!!!!
Me watching Charlie get ready for the Hootin Nanny (with freshly painted pink toenails). This is an annual Thanksgiving Holiday occurence in which all my in-laws stay up until 4 in the morning drinking moonshine and singing folk songs. Even though I was doped up on pain pills they woke me at 2:30 singing Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline at the top of their lungs, followed closely by Tiny Dancer. Before you get the wrong idea about my inlaws, I'll tell you that my brother may have been involved and he may or may not have been making up dirty lyrics to all the songs.
Ahhh, a belly full of painkillers and turkey and the Cowboys on T.V. A perfectly good end to a perfectly good Thanksgiving Day.
How I Spent My Thanksgiving
This is me and Charlie on Surgery Day. He's trying to keep it light by taking pictures.
This is me and Charlie much later in the week, when I gave him a lesson about taking pictures from above so that you don't take pictures of your double chins. But I digress.
This is me trying hard not to look at the I.V. that has been inserted into my right hand. Have I mentioned that I hate needles?
Before surgery. Y is for "Yes, this is the correct foot on which to operate." I also have a Y on the back of that thigh for "Yes, this is the correct knee in which to insert the nerve block." and one on the front of my thigh just to make me feel like they've covered all the bases.
This is me catching the Colbert Report post surgery. I really don't remember much about post surgery. Except the part where he came in and I asked him if I had a fused toe or a regular toe and he said "You won't remember this, but the cartalidge was in really good shape so we didn't have to fuse the toe." and because he said I wouldn't remember it, I made a concerted effort to prove him wrong. Because I'm stubborn like that.
Back to the office on Monday where I get to see the foot post-surgery for the first time. Did I mention that you're not allowed to wear any polish for surgery? Otherwise you would not be looking at nasty plain toenails.
IT'S ALIVE!!!!If I knew how to work photoshop, I would have turned this into Frankinstein Toe.
Me watching Charlie get ready for the Hootin Nanny (with freshly painted pink toenails). This is an annual Thanksgiving Holiday occurence in which all my in-laws stay up until 4 in the morning drinking moonshine and singing folk songs. Even though I was doped up on pain pills they woke me at 2:30 singing Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline at the top of their lungs, followed closely by Tiny Dancer. Before you get the wrong idea about my inlaws, I'll tell you that my brother may have been involved and he may or may not have been making up dirty lyrics to all the songs.
Ahhh, a belly full of painkillers and turkey and the Cowboys on T.V. A perfectly good end to a perfectly good Thanksgiving Day.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Boot Camp takes on a Whole New Meaning...
I had my foot surgery Friday and all went well. I had an osteotomy? instead of having the bones fused together, so my toe and I are both very happy. He won't have to live his life hiding in a sock and I won't have to knit him a sweater. I go to have my dressing changed today, so I'll get to see what it looks like for the first time. Oh don't worry, I'll take pictures to share with the class. Although my camera is broken, I have a new cell phone that has a camera, thanks to my dry cleaner.
Well, my cell phone was a "classic" Nokia and I just keep putting new covers on it to spiff it up. I have gotten teased about it, but the last straw was when I went to the dry cleaners and the lady pointed at my phone, laughed and said "You have old phone!" My trainer said "You should have said "YOUR MOMMA!" but I'm not fast with the wit.
Ya'll need to help me out with some excuses. Although my foot has not been too painful, I hope to procure at least one more refill of whatever he gave me for the pain. It's good stuff! I'm hoping to catch up with all your blogs this week while I'm recuperating. That is, if I'm not too busy doing my drugs. Getting waited on hand over foot doesn't stink either!
Much Love.....and Happy Turkey Day...
Well, my cell phone was a "classic" Nokia and I just keep putting new covers on it to spiff it up. I have gotten teased about it, but the last straw was when I went to the dry cleaners and the lady pointed at my phone, laughed and said "You have old phone!" My trainer said "You should have said "YOUR MOMMA!" but I'm not fast with the wit.
Ya'll need to help me out with some excuses. Although my foot has not been too painful, I hope to procure at least one more refill of whatever he gave me for the pain. It's good stuff! I'm hoping to catch up with all your blogs this week while I'm recuperating. That is, if I'm not too busy doing my drugs. Getting waited on hand over foot doesn't stink either!
Much Love.....and Happy Turkey Day...
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Mad Mothering Skills
We're going through two phases right now. First Ace has decided he doesn't like school anymore. This started about three weeks ago. Like every other day he gets to go to school, he grabbed out his lunch box and started throwing random snack bags inside it. He was excited and couldn't wait to go and then I turned into the parking lot and he said "I'm not going in."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I don't want to go in."
"What do you mean? All your friends are there, blah, blah, blah..."
First we thought it was because he didn't want to take a nap. The next day I decided it was because he had gotten in "trouble". The next week it had something to do with not wanting everyone staring at him when he walked in the door. So most mornings, we joke or sing songs about whether or not he wants to go to school.
"You love school, yes you do, you love school cuz school is cool, da-da duhn."
"NO I DOOON'T!"
"Yes You DOOO!"
"NO I DOOOOOOON'T!"
Today he was riding his scooter in the driveway and I said "Come on Ace, park your scooter in the garage, it's time to go."
"No. I want to scooter."
"I know, but it's time to go."
"I want to show you my scooter skills."
*pause*
"I know, you've got mad scooter skills, but we've got to go."
"I want to show you my skills."
(What a toot.)
Then there's the potty training. We're failing potty training in a big way. He can do it. He has done it. He just doesn't want to do it. I force him to tee-tee at different intervals of the day, but I've been reluctant to start the battles over pooping in the pot. Yesterday he pooped three times. THREE TIMES! And the last time he came waddling into the room and said "I accidently pooped on the floor." No. Not on the floor in the bathroom. Behind the chair on the carpet. Not his fault that the Pullup failed. But you guys try selling a house that has toddler poop on the carpet. (I didn't tell any of you where I live did I?) Tonight it was bedtime, so I made him sit on the potty and because the pullup was dry, the odds were good that he'd have some success. After a few minutes when he didn't return, I went to check on his progress.
"Did you go?"
"Nope. I need to, I just can't execute."
"What?"
"I need to go, it just won't execute."
"Where did you hear that word?"
"In Texas."
The kid can put together a sentence like that, but still poops in his diaper.
*Sigh*
"What? What are you talking about?"
"I don't want to go in."
"What do you mean? All your friends are there, blah, blah, blah..."
First we thought it was because he didn't want to take a nap. The next day I decided it was because he had gotten in "trouble". The next week it had something to do with not wanting everyone staring at him when he walked in the door. So most mornings, we joke or sing songs about whether or not he wants to go to school.
"You love school, yes you do, you love school cuz school is cool, da-da duhn."
"NO I DOOON'T!"
"Yes You DOOO!"
"NO I DOOOOOOON'T!"
Today he was riding his scooter in the driveway and I said "Come on Ace, park your scooter in the garage, it's time to go."
"No. I want to scooter."
"I know, but it's time to go."
"I want to show you my scooter skills."
*pause*
"I know, you've got mad scooter skills, but we've got to go."
"I want to show you my skills."
(What a toot.)
Then there's the potty training. We're failing potty training in a big way. He can do it. He has done it. He just doesn't want to do it. I force him to tee-tee at different intervals of the day, but I've been reluctant to start the battles over pooping in the pot. Yesterday he pooped three times. THREE TIMES! And the last time he came waddling into the room and said "I accidently pooped on the floor." No. Not on the floor in the bathroom. Behind the chair on the carpet. Not his fault that the Pullup failed. But you guys try selling a house that has toddler poop on the carpet. (I didn't tell any of you where I live did I?) Tonight it was bedtime, so I made him sit on the potty and because the pullup was dry, the odds were good that he'd have some success. After a few minutes when he didn't return, I went to check on his progress.
"Did you go?"
"Nope. I need to, I just can't execute."
"What?"
"I need to go, it just won't execute."
"Where did you hear that word?"
"In Texas."
The kid can put together a sentence like that, but still poops in his diaper.
*Sigh*
Monday, November 12, 2007
Time Flys When You're Cleaning Crumbs
Has it been a week and a half since I updated last?
We took the kids out of school after Halloween and went to check out the schools. We went to the Jr. High in Forney and they were very nice. (Unlike the rude Ho I talked to at the elementary school over the phone. But that's another story.) They gave us the tour and it was all good. They had even started a strings program this year, so John could keep playing his Viola. We did another tour of the house in Forney and kicked the tires one more time. We walked the lot we had chosen, let the kids play at the park, checked out what it was like in the neighborhood after school.
The next day we went to the Jr. High in Canton, then the High School. When we were done, we were sold. Charlie and I, that is. The school in Forney seems like more of the same of what we're experiencing here. Big School. In Canton, it's small town. The principal knows all the kids by their name and they all greet her as we walked the halls. No flying under the radar for John. We went out to the homesites we were looking at and measured out the width of the house, talked to the builder again and walked through the one he has under construction. We left him a check for earnest money that day.
We're very excited! We picked the one story plan, he got it all drawn up with the changes we asked him for and sent us to it this last Friday. We had one family look at the house last week and the wife really liked it, but the husband wants something newer. We'll see who has hand. His mother-in-law lives in my neighborhood. Our realtor said it would be dead in November, so we're not stressing about lack of traffic and are just looking forward to having all the family down for Thanksgiving. And guess what. My house is already clean. Oh yeah!
(And guys..we got a set of washers, so practice up before you get here.)
I went to the podiatrist last Thursday, because I'm looking into having my big toes fixed. Turns out I have arthritis. The ex-rays were interesting, I don't have much cartlidge, which has helped cause the bone behind the joint to move up. (Instead of like a bunion, where the bone moves out to the side.) I also have some broken pieces floating around in there. First choice is they go in and take out some of the bone behind the joint so that it has room to move back and down. That is, if my cartilidge is in good shape. If not they fuse the bones together, which is evidently super functional, but not good looking. My big toes would be kind of pointing up in the air. The fun part is, I won't know if I have a regular toe, or a Super Happy Toe, till I wake up. I'm gonna get some little nail stickers that say "WHAT UP?!" just in case.
We took the kids out of school after Halloween and went to check out the schools. We went to the Jr. High in Forney and they were very nice. (Unlike the rude Ho I talked to at the elementary school over the phone. But that's another story.) They gave us the tour and it was all good. They had even started a strings program this year, so John could keep playing his Viola. We did another tour of the house in Forney and kicked the tires one more time. We walked the lot we had chosen, let the kids play at the park, checked out what it was like in the neighborhood after school.
The next day we went to the Jr. High in Canton, then the High School. When we were done, we were sold. Charlie and I, that is. The school in Forney seems like more of the same of what we're experiencing here. Big School. In Canton, it's small town. The principal knows all the kids by their name and they all greet her as we walked the halls. No flying under the radar for John. We went out to the homesites we were looking at and measured out the width of the house, talked to the builder again and walked through the one he has under construction. We left him a check for earnest money that day.
We're very excited! We picked the one story plan, he got it all drawn up with the changes we asked him for and sent us to it this last Friday. We had one family look at the house last week and the wife really liked it, but the husband wants something newer. We'll see who has hand. His mother-in-law lives in my neighborhood. Our realtor said it would be dead in November, so we're not stressing about lack of traffic and are just looking forward to having all the family down for Thanksgiving. And guess what. My house is already clean. Oh yeah!
(And guys..we got a set of washers, so practice up before you get here.)
I went to the podiatrist last Thursday, because I'm looking into having my big toes fixed. Turns out I have arthritis. The ex-rays were interesting, I don't have much cartlidge, which has helped cause the bone behind the joint to move up. (Instead of like a bunion, where the bone moves out to the side.) I also have some broken pieces floating around in there. First choice is they go in and take out some of the bone behind the joint so that it has room to move back and down. That is, if my cartilidge is in good shape. If not they fuse the bones together, which is evidently super functional, but not good looking. My big toes would be kind of pointing up in the air. The fun part is, I won't know if I have a regular toe, or a Super Happy Toe, till I wake up. I'm gonna get some little nail stickers that say "WHAT UP?!" just in case.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Two Things to Cheer About
1st..
My house is officially for sale! Sign went in the yard yesterday at 5:30 p.m.
2nd and more importantly..
I ran an entire mile today without stopping one time! That's okay, I'll say it again. I RAN AN ENTIRE MILE TODAY WITHOUT STOPPING ONE TIME! And it only took me 15 minutes! I'll admit I was on the treadmill. Yes, the one with the T.V. and me and Bret Favre were running like maniacs, "WE'RE NUMBER ONE!" He had his third consecutive game throwing over three hundred yards, and I ran a mile. We may be old, but we still got game.* I think we both were looking for the oxygen tank when we were done.
We got our house plan back on Friday. You know, the one from the custom builder, that we've been waiting for three weeks for? And? Not good. Not that it was not good, but we made the mistake of taking the plan from a $500K house he had built. We thought we were going to lose the study and about $300K but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. By the time he cut enough from the plan, we didn't like it anymore. Disappointed would be an understatement. But Monday came, we got back on the horse and took him these two plans. Charlie meets with him tonight to see What UP?
More to come....
*(Although I ran a mile, I was unable to bring down the undefeated Le Tit Out of Bounce. ILLEGAL USE oMY FOOT has slipped to sixth in the standings.)
My house is officially for sale! Sign went in the yard yesterday at 5:30 p.m.
2nd and more importantly..
I ran an entire mile today without stopping one time! That's okay, I'll say it again. I RAN AN ENTIRE MILE TODAY WITHOUT STOPPING ONE TIME! And it only took me 15 minutes! I'll admit I was on the treadmill. Yes, the one with the T.V. and me and Bret Favre were running like maniacs, "WE'RE NUMBER ONE!" He had his third consecutive game throwing over three hundred yards, and I ran a mile. We may be old, but we still got game.* I think we both were looking for the oxygen tank when we were done.
We got our house plan back on Friday. You know, the one from the custom builder, that we've been waiting for three weeks for? And? Not good. Not that it was not good, but we made the mistake of taking the plan from a $500K house he had built. We thought we were going to lose the study and about $300K but unfortunately it didn't work out that way. By the time he cut enough from the plan, we didn't like it anymore. Disappointed would be an understatement. But Monday came, we got back on the horse and took him these two plans. Charlie meets with him tonight to see What UP?
More to come....
*(Although I ran a mile, I was unable to bring down the undefeated Le Tit Out of Bounce. ILLEGAL USE oMY FOOT has slipped to sixth in the standings.)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
GASP...huhhh...huhh...
I (gasp) just jogged (huuhhh) from the elementary school to my street corner.
gasp... huhhh...huhhh
Because I couldn't make it the three extra houses to my driveway.
gasp...
If you see a group of women running in a parking lot today say around 9:15, honk, roll down your window, find the girl that is second to dead last, and holler "RUN FOREST RUN!!!"
I could use a little encouragement.
gasp... huhhh...huhhh
Because I couldn't make it the three extra houses to my driveway.
gasp...
If you see a group of women running in a parking lot today say around 9:15, honk, roll down your window, find the girl that is second to dead last, and holler "RUN FOREST RUN!!!"
I could use a little encouragement.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
And now it's time for another installment of
"Moving. A Turtle's Story."
I can't believe it's been another week since last I updated...
The deck has been primered. The Armoire has been moved. Another five boxes to storage. The exterior guys got here yesterday and spent the day repairing bad spots around the house. Today they come back to finish up repairs, caulk and then power wash. Tomorrow paint. Quiver Tan at Sherwin Williams, in case you're bored enough to look it up. The stucco will be Wool Skein. My wood for the floor repair in the den is on back order and won't be in until Nov. 2nd.
THPPPPPPPPPPPPTTT!!!
The truth is, when Charlie got home last Thursday night, all I wanted to do was goof off. I'm tired of working. Maybe I'm just tired. Friday we went to Perry's Steak House for lunch. It was my first time to go (can you believe I've been here for 5 years and I haven't ever been?!) and it was so nice. It was so nice and I chose the wrong desert, so we're going again this Friday. I need a do-over on the desert. He made it seem like the deserts were just okay, so I got the Chocolate Ameretto Tart and he had the Nutty Di'Angelo. I ate half of mine and half of his. And I wanted another one of his. Saturday Melee' had a ballgame and then on Sunday we went out to eat at Pappasito's. So needless to say, output is low and my weight is high.
Actually I had a great workout Friday, another appointment on Monday and I went to "boot camp" yesterday, so I'm feeling justified. It was my first boot camp and I realized I've been working out for about nine months now and I'm out of shape! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN?! I can't run. We had to run from one end of the parking lot and back and I had to walk once and when I got back I was suckin wind! Charlie said, "Well, you're stronger than those other girls." and I said "Well I better be, because I'm gonna have to be able to knock your ass out, because I sure as hell can't out run you!" It SUCKS! So, I'm on a mission. I'm gonna learn how to run. I'm going this week to get some real running shoes and I'm gonna make a plan. (Does anybody have a plan? Ken? Justin? A little help here!) And I'm not going to run on the treadmill. I'm gonna actually go outside and run on the ground and everything. For more than two minutes at a time. Dammit. (I sound determined don't I.) I'll start next week. (No! Seriously. I mean it.) I have boot camp again tomorrow. Can you say shin splints? And then an appointment on Friday. Right before I go back for the Nutty Di' Angelo.
And by the way, Charlie's team beat my team in Fantasy Football. By Four points.
But this week, I'm going to do what NO ONE ELSE IN THE LEAGUE HAS BEEN ABLE TO DO! I'm taking down the undefeated Le Tit Out of Bounce.
You heard it here first.
"Moving. A Turtle's Story."
I can't believe it's been another week since last I updated...
The deck has been primered. The Armoire has been moved. Another five boxes to storage. The exterior guys got here yesterday and spent the day repairing bad spots around the house. Today they come back to finish up repairs, caulk and then power wash. Tomorrow paint. Quiver Tan at Sherwin Williams, in case you're bored enough to look it up. The stucco will be Wool Skein. My wood for the floor repair in the den is on back order and won't be in until Nov. 2nd.
THPPPPPPPPPPPPTTT!!!
The truth is, when Charlie got home last Thursday night, all I wanted to do was goof off. I'm tired of working. Maybe I'm just tired. Friday we went to Perry's Steak House for lunch. It was my first time to go (can you believe I've been here for 5 years and I haven't ever been?!) and it was so nice. It was so nice and I chose the wrong desert, so we're going again this Friday. I need a do-over on the desert. He made it seem like the deserts were just okay, so I got the Chocolate Ameretto Tart and he had the Nutty Di'Angelo. I ate half of mine and half of his. And I wanted another one of his. Saturday Melee' had a ballgame and then on Sunday we went out to eat at Pappasito's. So needless to say, output is low and my weight is high.
Actually I had a great workout Friday, another appointment on Monday and I went to "boot camp" yesterday, so I'm feeling justified. It was my first boot camp and I realized I've been working out for about nine months now and I'm out of shape! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT HAPPEN?! I can't run. We had to run from one end of the parking lot and back and I had to walk once and when I got back I was suckin wind! Charlie said, "Well, you're stronger than those other girls." and I said "Well I better be, because I'm gonna have to be able to knock your ass out, because I sure as hell can't out run you!" It SUCKS! So, I'm on a mission. I'm gonna learn how to run. I'm going this week to get some real running shoes and I'm gonna make a plan. (Does anybody have a plan? Ken? Justin? A little help here!) And I'm not going to run on the treadmill. I'm gonna actually go outside and run on the ground and everything. For more than two minutes at a time. Dammit. (I sound determined don't I.) I'll start next week. (No! Seriously. I mean it.) I have boot camp again tomorrow. Can you say shin splints? And then an appointment on Friday. Right before I go back for the Nutty Di' Angelo.
And by the way, Charlie's team beat my team in Fantasy Football. By Four points.
But this week, I'm going to do what NO ONE ELSE IN THE LEAGUE HAS BEEN ABLE TO DO! I'm taking down the undefeated Le Tit Out of Bounce.
You heard it here first.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
More of the Same
Well it's been a week and then some and you would think I was done. But I'm not.
Last week Charlie came home Wednesday night, as I talked him into coming home for the appointment with the realtor. I love my realtor, but it only takes a couple of hours with one to decide that you are a schlub who should have really done a hell of a lot more to your house in the five years that you've been there, than you actually have! But at the end of the two hours she thought we could ask more money for the house than we thought, so we were pumped about that. My fix it list got added on to and I've got to move a gigantic armoire out of John's room. Unless I can move it to the top of the landing on the stairwell, I'm gonna need four really big football players to move the dang thing. After spending an entire day in the front yard, plus the 15 bags of mulch, she thought I needed a lot more color in the beds. I've planted 8 flats of pansies and petunias and have 10 more to go. (I have gigantic flower beds.) The countertops have their final clear glaze as of this morning and are drying as we speak. I wish I could show you a picture (but my camera's broken) because they look fabulous! Now I'm waiting on an estimate for having some woodwork done on the outside of the house w/ paint. I spent 5 hours powerwashing on Thursday while Charlie fixed all the loose boards on the back deck and got it ready to paint. We've ordered a box of hardwood flooring to repair two small boards in the den and I've got touch up painting to do to the formal dining, bar entry hall and I'm going to paint the front porch.
Oh, and you should know it's raining.
I left Saturday morning with John to go to a family reunion in the Dallas area and my Dad's 70th birthday was Friday, so we went to eat brisket and wish him a happy birthday. Charlie came up with the rest of the kids, after he had power washed the deck and returned it to Home Depot. Sunday morning we made a run out to look at the land we're looking at to build a custom house. Still no plan from the builder. And then we took a really quick run through the Highland Home on the way back to my Dad's to watch the Dallas Cowboy'sloose lose.
And to add insult to injury, I have dropped to number four in my Fantasy Football league. right behind Charlie.
Sorry no humor. I'm all out of it.
Last week Charlie came home Wednesday night, as I talked him into coming home for the appointment with the realtor. I love my realtor, but it only takes a couple of hours with one to decide that you are a schlub who should have really done a hell of a lot more to your house in the five years that you've been there, than you actually have! But at the end of the two hours she thought we could ask more money for the house than we thought, so we were pumped about that. My fix it list got added on to and I've got to move a gigantic armoire out of John's room. Unless I can move it to the top of the landing on the stairwell, I'm gonna need four really big football players to move the dang thing. After spending an entire day in the front yard, plus the 15 bags of mulch, she thought I needed a lot more color in the beds. I've planted 8 flats of pansies and petunias and have 10 more to go. (I have gigantic flower beds.) The countertops have their final clear glaze as of this morning and are drying as we speak. I wish I could show you a picture (but my camera's broken) because they look fabulous! Now I'm waiting on an estimate for having some woodwork done on the outside of the house w/ paint. I spent 5 hours powerwashing on Thursday while Charlie fixed all the loose boards on the back deck and got it ready to paint. We've ordered a box of hardwood flooring to repair two small boards in the den and I've got touch up painting to do to the formal dining, bar entry hall and I'm going to paint the front porch.
Oh, and you should know it's raining.
I left Saturday morning with John to go to a family reunion in the Dallas area and my Dad's 70th birthday was Friday, so we went to eat brisket and wish him a happy birthday. Charlie came up with the rest of the kids, after he had power washed the deck and returned it to Home Depot. Sunday morning we made a run out to look at the land we're looking at to build a custom house. Still no plan from the builder. And then we took a really quick run through the Highland Home on the way back to my Dad's to watch the Dallas Cowboy's
And to add insult to injury, I have dropped to number four in my Fantasy Football league. right behind Charlie.
Sorry no humor. I'm all out of it.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Sunday
Sunday was less productive than yesterday. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed with Charlie's impending departure to Dallas on the horizon. I went to Wally World and shopped for groceries by myself in peace. Then we....
Loaded the trailer of motorcycles and added the game chairs out of the playroom, along with my first six boxes (OMG! DID I ONLY PACK SIX BOXES? IT FELT LIKE FIFTY!) and took them over to storage.
Charlie replaced the two rotted outside plugs with new GFI plugs. He finished installing the powder room faucet. I continued to pack more boxes. I got the playroom totally finished and the tables and chairs got put back together. One room complete. Only 11 more to go. I completely packed the Littles room and took out two small dressers and a doll house (off to storage). Got Melee's room completely packed and in good shape. (For those keeping score, that's 3 rooms down, 9 more to go.) I spent the better part of the day avoiding John's room. He's a bigger pack rat than I am and his room gives me the hives. And seeing as how I still have TWO GIGANTIC zits on my face, I can't afford hives. We loaded up a round table with four chairs, the dressers, the piano, the dollhouse and a few more boxes and headed back to storage. Charlie finished taking down all the vines and scraping the back of the house. I tried to put the kids to work powerwashing the sidewalk and after a curse-filled twenty minutes, realized that the hand-me-down powerwasher was officially broken. *&%$#!
We wound down to a snails pace sometime in the evening and I put the littles in the tub and sent Charlie back to the storage facility with a load of amplifiers and a couple more boxes. He came home and textured the ceiling and put my light back up over the dining room table. Sunday's final box count, around fifteen.
The carpet cleaner called this morning and I have a 2:00 appointment today. I still need to call someone about some wood replacement on the outside of the house and we have a call pending to a countertop refinisher. I have a box of books to take to the used book store, dry cleaning to drop off, an appointment with my trainer. I have to paint the ceiling, sand and paint around the microwave, sand and paint around the upstairs bathroom light fixtures, take out four more hefty bags full of trash, put 3 more boxes in the garage and four bags of clothes to give away.
All that, and as of this morning, I'm the ED Low Scorer of the week in my Fantasy Football League! I still have a chance seeing as how I have 3 players to go in tonight's game, but what are the odds ILLEGAL USEoMY FOOT can raise my score from 23 to over 100 to catch Intentional Pounding?
GO COWBOYS!!!
Loaded the trailer of motorcycles and added the game chairs out of the playroom, along with my first six boxes (OMG! DID I ONLY PACK SIX BOXES? IT FELT LIKE FIFTY!) and took them over to storage.
Charlie replaced the two rotted outside plugs with new GFI plugs. He finished installing the powder room faucet. I continued to pack more boxes. I got the playroom totally finished and the tables and chairs got put back together. One room complete. Only 11 more to go. I completely packed the Littles room and took out two small dressers and a doll house (off to storage). Got Melee's room completely packed and in good shape. (For those keeping score, that's 3 rooms down, 9 more to go.) I spent the better part of the day avoiding John's room. He's a bigger pack rat than I am and his room gives me the hives. And seeing as how I still have TWO GIGANTIC zits on my face, I can't afford hives. We loaded up a round table with four chairs, the dressers, the piano, the dollhouse and a few more boxes and headed back to storage. Charlie finished taking down all the vines and scraping the back of the house. I tried to put the kids to work powerwashing the sidewalk and after a curse-filled twenty minutes, realized that the hand-me-down powerwasher was officially broken. *&%$#!
We wound down to a snails pace sometime in the evening and I put the littles in the tub and sent Charlie back to the storage facility with a load of amplifiers and a couple more boxes. He came home and textured the ceiling and put my light back up over the dining room table. Sunday's final box count, around fifteen.
The carpet cleaner called this morning and I have a 2:00 appointment today. I still need to call someone about some wood replacement on the outside of the house and we have a call pending to a countertop refinisher. I have a box of books to take to the used book store, dry cleaning to drop off, an appointment with my trainer. I have to paint the ceiling, sand and paint around the microwave, sand and paint around the upstairs bathroom light fixtures, take out four more hefty bags full of trash, put 3 more boxes in the garage and four bags of clothes to give away.
All that, and as of this morning, I'm the ED Low Scorer of the week in my Fantasy Football League! I still have a chance seeing as how I have 3 players to go in tonight's game, but what are the odds ILLEGAL USEoMY FOOT can raise my score from 23 to over 100 to catch Intentional Pounding?
GO COWBOYS!!!
Saturday, October 06, 2007
List of Things We Did Today...
Woke up too early. (Because neither of us are able to stay asleep. And he had help of the alcoholic beverage variety.)
Went to Sonic for breakfast burritos. (Because I weigh 188 pounds. (Forty pounds down, baby!)That's why.)
Came home and waited for my hung over hubby to help me make a list of things for him to do. (I promise I'm a model of patience and virtue!)
Called in my brother Krull for reinforcements. (He's handy AND he has a truck)
Went to Home Depot and purchased all the odds and ends to do the jobs. (Plus 15 bags of mulch.)
Came home, got out my shiny new Echo weed eater, mowed down what was left of the weeds that I had not been able to take care of on Thursday, when I spent the entire day in the front yard cleaning out my flower beds and edging the lawn. (Melee' mowed for me.)
Helped my brother mulch the three flower beds in the front yard. (And by help, I mean I unloaded the last three bags of mulch out of the back of the truck.)
Meanwhile Charlie started installing three new toilet seats and two new light fixtures for the upstairs bathrooms. (If only the toilets themselves were clean.)
I cleaned out the closet under the stairs while they trimmed out the space around the microwave that we installed...how many months ago? (I found the case of CD's that Charlie was certain someone had stolen.)
Charlie fixed the bedside light fixture that had come down due to some swinging toddler mishap about six months ago. (Found a few candy wrappers under the bed. I have no idea where those came from.)
Glued dowel rods into two legs off of the kiddy furniture that we bought Peach for Christmas, that evidently the kids use to train lions with or something.
Charlie repaired the cable outlet that had been yanked out of the wall in the playroom by Ace. (Why did I have kids again?)
He has (for the most part) installed a new faucet in the powder room bath downstairs.
While he was doing all that I think I packed two boxes from the closet and one box of games. (I do my best work when someone is babysitting me.)
Made Charlie go pickup Chinese food. (Because anxiety and worry burn a lot of calories. And so does moving boxes of crap that I can't beleive I'm taking with me.)
And now I'm sitting here writing this down for you guys while Charlie is outside on the top of a 20 foot extension ladder scraping vines off the back of the house. (I hope he doesn't walk in before I finish.)
Well, I better go. I've got to go upstairs and pace around alot, looking at every item I own and wondering "Should I throw this away or pack it?" With Chase on one of my shoulders saying "Embrace the throw-away!" and me on the other, whining "But what if I neeeed it?"
Went to Sonic for breakfast burritos. (Because I weigh 188 pounds. (Forty pounds down, baby!)That's why.)
Came home and waited for my hung over hubby to help me make a list of things for him to do. (I promise I'm a model of patience and virtue!)
Called in my brother Krull for reinforcements. (He's handy AND he has a truck)
Went to Home Depot and purchased all the odds and ends to do the jobs. (Plus 15 bags of mulch.)
Came home, got out my shiny new Echo weed eater, mowed down what was left of the weeds that I had not been able to take care of on Thursday, when I spent the entire day in the front yard cleaning out my flower beds and edging the lawn. (Melee' mowed for me.)
Helped my brother mulch the three flower beds in the front yard. (And by help, I mean I unloaded the last three bags of mulch out of the back of the truck.)
Meanwhile Charlie started installing three new toilet seats and two new light fixtures for the upstairs bathrooms. (If only the toilets themselves were clean.)
I cleaned out the closet under the stairs while they trimmed out the space around the microwave that we installed...how many months ago? (I found the case of CD's that Charlie was certain someone had stolen.)
Charlie fixed the bedside light fixture that had come down due to some swinging toddler mishap about six months ago. (Found a few candy wrappers under the bed. I have no idea where those came from.)
Glued dowel rods into two legs off of the kiddy furniture that we bought Peach for Christmas, that evidently the kids use to train lions with or something.
Charlie repaired the cable outlet that had been yanked out of the wall in the playroom by Ace. (Why did I have kids again?)
He has (for the most part) installed a new faucet in the powder room bath downstairs.
While he was doing all that I think I packed two boxes from the closet and one box of games. (I do my best work when someone is babysitting me.)
Made Charlie go pickup Chinese food. (Because anxiety and worry burn a lot of calories. And so does moving boxes of crap that I can't beleive I'm taking with me.)
And now I'm sitting here writing this down for you guys while Charlie is outside on the top of a 20 foot extension ladder scraping vines off the back of the house. (I hope he doesn't walk in before I finish.)
Well, I better go. I've got to go upstairs and pace around alot, looking at every item I own and wondering "Should I throw this away or pack it?" With Chase on one of my shoulders saying "Embrace the throw-away!" and me on the other, whining "But what if I neeeed it?"
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Really BIG news!
Guess who was the Viagra High Scorer of the Week? AGAIN? That would be me.
NO! I'm talkin about Fantasy Football you gutter rats!
Well we have BIG news at the house of Chaos. Charlie got a promotion that means we will be moving from Houston to the Dallas Area. He starts next Monday. Yes, we're blessed, I'm stressed and I confess the house is a mess! I had my garage sale last week. GadZOOKS, I hate garage sales! "NO LADY, I WON'T TAKE LESS THAN 50 CENTS! GOSH!" (Never mind that she can fish it out of my trash can today for free.) I sounded like Napoleon Dynamite all day long. "You mean you sold that desk for $10 and you're gonna deliver it to her house for free?" "CUZ I'M AN IDOT, GOSH!" And my friend Chase entertained the neighborhood by modeling my size 42 double D bra around on top of her clothes. I had it in a sack of stuff to throw away in the garage and she fished it out and provided the comic relief we needed in order to sit sweating in the sun schlepping our junk a nickel at a time.
After two Kamikaze trips to Dallas over the last two weekends, we have narrowed our choices to a Highland Home, you can see the floorplan here and here, oh and it has an optional media room and bath upstairs. It would be in a traditional neighborhood with a postage stamp sized yard, but across the street from the park and pool. And our other choice is closer to my Mom with a custom builder and we haven't really gotten a plan together from him, but it would have an acre of land. So big house/little yard/city living or big yard/little house/country living. It really doesn't sound like a tough choice when you put it like that, but we're used to big yards and we both come from country living. But the custom guy has got to come up with something quick because I'm ready to start building something!
Charlie and I are meeting at U-haul today, to pick up boxes so I can start packing closets and things and we've got to go get some storage to put away some of the excess furniture. I'm hoping to pack up equal parts boxes and trash. I've got my realtor called, a floor guy called, a lawn service guy called, I still lack a carpet cleaner and someone to fix a couple of spots on the outside of the house. I have a zit on my face the size of Mount Olympus from nerves, and I can't keep my train of thought without being derailed with thoughts of wood floors, countertop options, stone exterior options and all the fun stuff about buying a new house.
NO! I'm talkin about Fantasy Football you gutter rats!
Well we have BIG news at the house of Chaos. Charlie got a promotion that means we will be moving from Houston to the Dallas Area. He starts next Monday. Yes, we're blessed, I'm stressed and I confess the house is a mess! I had my garage sale last week. GadZOOKS, I hate garage sales! "NO LADY, I WON'T TAKE LESS THAN 50 CENTS! GOSH!" (Never mind that she can fish it out of my trash can today for free.) I sounded like Napoleon Dynamite all day long. "You mean you sold that desk for $10 and you're gonna deliver it to her house for free?" "CUZ I'M AN IDOT, GOSH!" And my friend Chase entertained the neighborhood by modeling my size 42 double D bra around on top of her clothes. I had it in a sack of stuff to throw away in the garage and she fished it out and provided the comic relief we needed in order to sit sweating in the sun schlepping our junk a nickel at a time.
After two Kamikaze trips to Dallas over the last two weekends, we have narrowed our choices to a Highland Home, you can see the floorplan here and here, oh and it has an optional media room and bath upstairs. It would be in a traditional neighborhood with a postage stamp sized yard, but across the street from the park and pool. And our other choice is closer to my Mom with a custom builder and we haven't really gotten a plan together from him, but it would have an acre of land. So big house/little yard/city living or big yard/little house/country living. It really doesn't sound like a tough choice when you put it like that, but we're used to big yards and we both come from country living. But the custom guy has got to come up with something quick because I'm ready to start building something!
Charlie and I are meeting at U-haul today, to pick up boxes so I can start packing closets and things and we've got to go get some storage to put away some of the excess furniture. I'm hoping to pack up equal parts boxes and trash. I've got my realtor called, a floor guy called, a lawn service guy called, I still lack a carpet cleaner and someone to fix a couple of spots on the outside of the house. I have a zit on my face the size of Mount Olympus from nerves, and I can't keep my train of thought without being derailed with thoughts of wood floors, countertop options, stone exterior options and all the fun stuff about buying a new house.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Just so you know..this is how we roll...
My neighbor Chase, was asking Peach some questions about Kindergarten the other day. Peach is always giving out the low down about the bad kids in the class, so she starts with her list of which boys had to move their pin that day. She says "Colby burped today." and Chase said, "Ew, did you tell on him?" and she said "Oh no! I got Will to do it for me."
:) That's my girl.
:) That's my girl.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Just to say I'm Alive...
I've been MIA. We're three weeks in to the new school year and I still don't have the hang of it, plus I've been sick for about a week and a half. I now have six pack abs from coughing my guts out. Blech!
Ace started "school" a little over a week ago and he loves it! He sings in the morning when it's his "school day". Sometimes he wears his Spongebob backpack on our way to the elementary school even though his doesn't start till 9:30. Wouldn't it be nice if the one in eighth grade loved school that much? If wishes were horses...
Bonnie is still loving Kindergarten and I only cry occasionally, like when she tries to walk with the big girls to school and doesn't want to walk with me, and then the big girls run ahead and leave her behind and I don't know if I'm crying for me or her. I haven't had many free days to ponder the fact that I'm on my own for 5 hours, three days a week, it's probably safer that way.
I start my gig as a volunteer for Kindergarten Centers today. Eye roll. Not only do I resent Kindergarten for taking my baby girl, now I've got to go work the gig. Wish me luck, I have it on good authority that Ty is a bad boy and that Colby is a burper.
Ace started "school" a little over a week ago and he loves it! He sings in the morning when it's his "school day". Sometimes he wears his Spongebob backpack on our way to the elementary school even though his doesn't start till 9:30. Wouldn't it be nice if the one in eighth grade loved school that much? If wishes were horses...
Bonnie is still loving Kindergarten and I only cry occasionally, like when she tries to walk with the big girls to school and doesn't want to walk with me, and then the big girls run ahead and leave her behind and I don't know if I'm crying for me or her. I haven't had many free days to ponder the fact that I'm on my own for 5 hours, three days a week, it's probably safer that way.
I start my gig as a volunteer for Kindergarten Centers today. Eye roll. Not only do I resent Kindergarten for taking my baby girl, now I've got to go work the gig. Wish me luck, I have it on good authority that Ty is a bad boy and that Colby is a burper.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Crying Over Kindergarten is SO Yesterday
At least I hope it is. I'll tell you tomorrow.
But TODAY I have a little business to take care of. You know how all the people you know who are playing Fantasy Football are pissing and moaning because they didn't get LaDainian Tomlinson on their teams?
SORRY 'BOUT YOUR LUCK! LOSERS!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
But TODAY I have a little business to take care of. You know how all the people you know who are playing Fantasy Football are pissing and moaning because they didn't get LaDainian Tomlinson on their teams?
SORRY 'BOUT YOUR LUCK! LOSERS!
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
That's right! I had first pick in the draft and got L.T.! I can be gloaty and full of myself for approximately 6 days and 5 hours when the Chargers play the Bears and Tomlinson will have a season ending injury that will help lead ILLEGAL USEoMY FOOT to fourteenth place in the league.
Not to be pessimistic or anything.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
The Definition of Taking it Hard
So to recap...
Peach went to Kindergarten on Monday and I cried.
Tuesday, she decided she wanted to be like the big kids and have a tray for lunch, so we went to the cafeteria early to buy a lunch ticket. The cafeteria is where all the kids gather before the first bell rings. One of the "helpers" wouldn't let me buy the ticket but insisted I put a check in her backpack and the teacher would take care of it. So I had to squat down and try to explain this new thing she had to remember in order to get her lunch and as she listened to me and looked around the cafeteria at the throng of kids, her eyes glazed over and she zoned out. When I got home, I cried.
She came home in a great mood on Tuesday and thought she was such a big girl for having her lunch on a tray. So on Wednesday, I dropped her off at her room and it was ALL good, and then I went to the psychologist, and I cried.
Thursday, I thought I was gonna be totally in the clear, because if it hadn't been for Dr. Scott, Wednesday would have been a tear free day. Drop off was just fine. Short Shanks and I hit the gym (my gym partner really IS a monkey) and afterward we headed to Target to spend his $20 in birthday money that was burning a hole in my pocket. We got a couple of toys and a new pair of gym shorts for me, as this is evidently going to be my morning uniform. We topped it off with some popcorn and cokes and headed home. On the drive home, I realized I don't make enough money to shop my way out of the fact that I just put my baby girl in Kindergarten, and I cried.
Friday, we're in the home stretch. We're having all our friends over after school, everyone's in a great mood. I've got my appointment with my trainer at 11:00 and lunch with a friend at 12:00 and as Ace and I walked back to the house we stopped to talk to my neighbor Chase and she asked how it was going and I opend my mouth, and cried.
Peach went to Kindergarten on Monday and I cried.
Tuesday, she decided she wanted to be like the big kids and have a tray for lunch, so we went to the cafeteria early to buy a lunch ticket. The cafeteria is where all the kids gather before the first bell rings. One of the "helpers" wouldn't let me buy the ticket but insisted I put a check in her backpack and the teacher would take care of it. So I had to squat down and try to explain this new thing she had to remember in order to get her lunch and as she listened to me and looked around the cafeteria at the throng of kids, her eyes glazed over and she zoned out. When I got home, I cried.
She came home in a great mood on Tuesday and thought she was such a big girl for having her lunch on a tray. So on Wednesday, I dropped her off at her room and it was ALL good, and then I went to the psychologist, and I cried.
Thursday, I thought I was gonna be totally in the clear, because if it hadn't been for Dr. Scott, Wednesday would have been a tear free day. Drop off was just fine. Short Shanks and I hit the gym (my gym partner really IS a monkey) and afterward we headed to Target to spend his $20 in birthday money that was burning a hole in my pocket. We got a couple of toys and a new pair of gym shorts for me, as this is evidently going to be my morning uniform. We topped it off with some popcorn and cokes and headed home. On the drive home, I realized I don't make enough money to shop my way out of the fact that I just put my baby girl in Kindergarten, and I cried.
Friday, we're in the home stretch. We're having all our friends over after school, everyone's in a great mood. I've got my appointment with my trainer at 11:00 and lunch with a friend at 12:00 and as Ace and I walked back to the house we stopped to talk to my neighbor Chase and she asked how it was going and I opend my mouth, and cried.
Monday, August 27, 2007
And the Oscar GOES TO.....
ME!
for Best Portrayal of a Happy Mother Dropping off a Kindergartner. It started out in the Comedy/Musical category, but as soon as I exited the building it became a Drama. I might have scared some children on their way in, but I hold it against their Rule Breaking Mommas who were taking them IN what was clearly the EXIT. For her part, Peach held it together. She looked like she might have wanted to cry, but it might have just been allergies. I haven't slept in over a week. Last night she came in and got in bed at midnight, I woke up sometime in the three o'clock hour and I quit pretending and got out of bed at 6:00.
We went to "Meet the teacher" Friday and it was a MADHOUSE! Kids, Moms, Dads, Sibs, teachers, tables, pens, paperwork, then the tour of the facilities, "This is this, and that is that...", then the putting away of the school supplies, saying hello to the teacher, saying hello to the turtles...an hour later we were home and I was catching my breath and realizing I had a whole handful of papers I had not turned in per the instructions. I'm off to my usual stellar performance for Mother of the Year.
Over the weekend she would ask questions or make statements totally out of the blue, like "I didn't notice very many toys in Mrs. Pinecone's room." (She thinks the teacher's name sounds very fancy because they call the teachers by their more formal last name, instead of Miss First Name like they did at Mother's Day Out, which made her laugh and say 'It's like Mrs. Broccoli or Mrs. Pinecone!') And then she said "Do we go on field trips?" Which is a no. She said "But Melee' went on a field trip." and I said "Yes, you have one field trip in the fourth grade." Then this morning she said "Daddy said they had centers, but I didn't see any centers." Because "centers" at Mother's Day Out is toys and playing, but "centers" in Kindergarten is Reading, Math, Computers and Oh yeah, Arts and Crafts. Needless to say I felt like I left my baby to the wolves this morning.
Short Shanks and I are rattling around the house, every hour or so he comes up to me and says "Where's Peach?", my stomach seizes up, I explain again and we start all over.
Melee' and Zoe both got great teachers this year and since they're in fifth grade, they're the big kids on campus, as is John who got on the bus as an eight grader today. As he and the neighbors went out to the bus I said "You guys be benevolent rulers." They all looked at me like I was an alien so I said "Be nice to the little kids on the bus!" Then I got the "Whatever" eye-roll and sideways grin.
Three down, one more to go. So, when does this get easier?
for Best Portrayal of a Happy Mother Dropping off a Kindergartner. It started out in the Comedy/Musical category, but as soon as I exited the building it became a Drama. I might have scared some children on their way in, but I hold it against their Rule Breaking Mommas who were taking them IN what was clearly the EXIT. For her part, Peach held it together. She looked like she might have wanted to cry, but it might have just been allergies. I haven't slept in over a week. Last night she came in and got in bed at midnight, I woke up sometime in the three o'clock hour and I quit pretending and got out of bed at 6:00.
We went to "Meet the teacher" Friday and it was a MADHOUSE! Kids, Moms, Dads, Sibs, teachers, tables, pens, paperwork, then the tour of the facilities, "This is this, and that is that...", then the putting away of the school supplies, saying hello to the teacher, saying hello to the turtles...an hour later we were home and I was catching my breath and realizing I had a whole handful of papers I had not turned in per the instructions. I'm off to my usual stellar performance for Mother of the Year.
Over the weekend she would ask questions or make statements totally out of the blue, like "I didn't notice very many toys in Mrs. Pinecone's room." (She thinks the teacher's name sounds very fancy because they call the teachers by their more formal last name, instead of Miss First Name like they did at Mother's Day Out, which made her laugh and say 'It's like Mrs. Broccoli or Mrs. Pinecone!') And then she said "Do we go on field trips?" Which is a no. She said "But Melee' went on a field trip." and I said "Yes, you have one field trip in the fourth grade." Then this morning she said "Daddy said they had centers, but I didn't see any centers." Because "centers" at Mother's Day Out is toys and playing, but "centers" in Kindergarten is Reading, Math, Computers and Oh yeah, Arts and Crafts. Needless to say I felt like I left my baby to the wolves this morning.
Short Shanks and I are rattling around the house, every hour or so he comes up to me and says "Where's Peach?", my stomach seizes up, I explain again and we start all over.
Melee' and Zoe both got great teachers this year and since they're in fifth grade, they're the big kids on campus, as is John who got on the bus as an eight grader today. As he and the neighbors went out to the bus I said "You guys be benevolent rulers." They all looked at me like I was an alien so I said "Be nice to the little kids on the bus!" Then I got the "Whatever" eye-roll and sideways grin.
Three down, one more to go. So, when does this get easier?
Friday, August 17, 2007
Tales of Camping. Light.
On the first day Peach said,
"Isn't this great Momma! No chores! No Dishes! No laundry!"
Amen sister. Except for the part where I'll have 14 loads of laundry to do when we pull up into the driveway, and after I've soaked everything in Oxyclean for 24 hours. And contrary to popular belief I can not feed the four of you Marshmallows toasted on coat hangers for every meal for the next three days. But other than that... Pure Bliss baby!
One morning while helping Ace put his pants on he said,
"A one, a two, a skiddley-diddley-doo!"
And that's how I hope to put on my pants for the rest of my life.
"Isn't this great Momma! No chores! No Dishes! No laundry!"
Amen sister. Except for the part where I'll have 14 loads of laundry to do when we pull up into the driveway, and after I've soaked everything in Oxyclean for 24 hours. And contrary to popular belief I can not feed the four of you Marshmallows toasted on coat hangers for every meal for the next three days. But other than that... Pure Bliss baby!
One morning while helping Ace put his pants on he said,
"A one, a two, a skiddley-diddley-doo!"
And that's how I hope to put on my pants for the rest of my life.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
TALL Tales from West Texas
OR
Rural Emergency 911
Rural Emergency 911
One hot morning while camping at Lake McKenzie, I decided to walk the kids up to the playground area. So we headed up the dusty dirt road in search of swings and merry-go-rounds. It didn't take long for the kids to start whining and complaining about how far it was. John decided that we should definitely take a shortcut down one of the ATV trails, but I didn't want to start down a trail and have it wind off in the wrong direction so I said "No." we would stay on the road, it was only a little further. John said "Well, I'm taking the shortcut." and off he went. I thought 'Whatever. He'll be sorry when we get there and he's still trying to figure out which hill he's supposed to go over.' But as we topped the long steep incline there he was, sitting on a picnic table saying "What took you guys so long."
(Internal eye roll and Doh!)
The playground turned out to be two swings, a rusty merry-go-round and a plastic slide with a hole in the top that looked like a booby-trap. I kept yelling, "Ya'll don't go too far! You're gonna get stickers!" to which Ace would reply "Stickers! I WANT STICKERS! I WANT STICKERS!" Which begs the question, 'How did I raise kids that don't know what it's like to never have your shoes off outside for fear of goatheads?'
So the minutes wore on in the hot sun until finally my plan of catching a ride back to camp with Charlie as he came back from town, turned into trekking down the shortcut and letting the kids pick up a few rock treasures on the way. We got to the edge of the playground when John started complaining of something really sharp in his shoe, but after investigating twice, couldn't find what it was. Turns out he stepped on a mesquite bush thorn that went all the way through his hiking shoe. When neither of us could get it out with our fingers, I had to put the bottom of the shoe up to my mouth and bite down on the thorn in order to pull it out. We regathered ourselves and headed down the trail. At the bottom of the first hill it opened up to a big riding area with hills and trails and the kids went in search for rocks to bring home. After another ten minutes in the sweltering heat I said "Times up!" and we found the trail that would take us out to the main road. Up the trail we went, around a corner and on the way down, when Peach lost her footing and fell hands first into a cactus.
(Internal eye roll and Doh!)
The playground turned out to be two swings, a rusty merry-go-round and a plastic slide with a hole in the top that looked like a booby-trap. I kept yelling, "Ya'll don't go too far! You're gonna get stickers!" to which Ace would reply "Stickers! I WANT STICKERS! I WANT STICKERS!" Which begs the question, 'How did I raise kids that don't know what it's like to never have your shoes off outside for fear of goatheads?'
So the minutes wore on in the hot sun until finally my plan of catching a ride back to camp with Charlie as he came back from town, turned into trekking down the shortcut and letting the kids pick up a few rock treasures on the way. We got to the edge of the playground when John started complaining of something really sharp in his shoe, but after investigating twice, couldn't find what it was. Turns out he stepped on a mesquite bush thorn that went all the way through his hiking shoe. When neither of us could get it out with our fingers, I had to put the bottom of the shoe up to my mouth and bite down on the thorn in order to pull it out. We regathered ourselves and headed down the trail. At the bottom of the first hill it opened up to a big riding area with hills and trails and the kids went in search for rocks to bring home. After another ten minutes in the sweltering heat I said "Times up!" and we found the trail that would take us out to the main road. Up the trail we went, around a corner and on the way down, when Peach lost her footing and fell hands first into a cactus. 
I scooped her back up onto her feet to find that her left hand was covered in small thorns with four or five large thorns mixed in. Every time I touched her I came away with a few thorns in my own hands. I pulled out the large ones and when I did, her hand spurted blood that drizzled down her arm. She was wailing like a siren as I tried to calm her down and I soon realized we would have to get back to camp and find my tweezers to pull out the hundreds of tiny stickers. I told her we'd have to keep walking and I turned to find Melee' behind us watching and bawling and behind him, Ace was looking up at Melee' and crying. I was already chanting the mantra "It's okay, it's gonna be okay, it's alright, it's not that bad....." I said "Okay everybody, take a deep breath, we've got to get back to camp." We walked down the path, I was trying to hold her hand but we could only hook pinkies while she held the other hand in the air and the blood flowed down and dripped off her elbow. Melee' was making hitching sob sounds while cursing all cactus on the face of the earth, and Ace just trailed behind crying quietly. I asked John if he would go back to the cactus and see if he could find her two special rocks. The rest of us plodded along and I rallied the troops by singing a rousing course of
'F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, TRY IT, N is for anywhere and anytime at all! Down here in the deep blue sea!"
We had gotten 15 yards farther down the road, when all of a sudden, John comes shrieking around the corner towards us in absolute abject terror. He was screaming and running faster than I knew he could run. I thought 'OH MY GOD, HE'S BEEN BITTEN BY A SNAKE!' No. Not exactly. He was, however, being chased by what was evidently a killer hornet, which chased him mercilessly causing him to fall down tearing a hole in his jeans, his knee and the palm of his hand. Now it's as if we're in a Friday the Thirteenth sequel and I'm leading all the unlucky souls on a death march to what will no doubt be our ultimate fate when we get back to camp. Of course Charlie pulls up in the truck right as we get to the camp turn in, and finds us dusty, sweaty, bloody and crying. It took the two of us working two pairs of tweezers at least 15 minutes to pull all the needles out of her hands and arms, after which she said she needed to lay down because her stomach hurt. After a short nap we were checking her hand when Charlie found that the knuckle on her fourth finger did not seem to be there anymore which caused us to drive into Silverton to find an Urgent Care center. At the end of the day she had four ex-rays that showed she probably hyper-extended her fingers and had a small sprain but all was well and the Dr. sent us off with instructions on icing her hand and a warning about the rattlesnakes which are having a banner year.
And I never slept for the rest of the trip and we all lived happily ever after.
And I never slept for the rest of the trip and we all lived happily ever after.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Rockin the Purple Spandex Unitard Circa 1993, Bitch!
Everything was still packed in the Suburban. Because we were supposed to be on vacation last Thursday. Everything includes my workout clothes, and I was determined Not to unpack. Which sparked this conversation at the gym yesterday...
As I'm laying on the floor doing my ab work....
John: "Mom? Are those shiny purple shorts you're wearing?"
Me: "What?"
John: "Are those purple things shorts?"
Me: "No it's a unitard. See?" I show him a purple shoulder-strap under my T-shirt.
John: (With surpsrise eyes) "That thing goes all the way up?"
Me: "Yep." I pull up the T-shirt just over my waist.
John: "A unitard? Like that thing Jen on Big Brother had to wear for a week? You're not gonna wear that without a T-shirt are you?"
Me: (Grinning from ear to ear) "Maybe in another twenty pounds. Why? You don't like my shiny purple spandex unitard?"
John: (Grinning and shaking his head no) "Where did you get that thing?"
Me: "Top of my closet in a bag of clothes I haven't worn in over 13 years."
As I'm laying on the floor doing my ab work....
John: "Mom? Are those shiny purple shorts you're wearing?"
Me: "What?"
John: "Are those purple things shorts?"
Me: "No it's a unitard. See?" I show him a purple shoulder-strap under my T-shirt.
John: (With surpsrise eyes) "That thing goes all the way up?"
Me: "Yep." I pull up the T-shirt just over my waist.
John: "A unitard? Like that thing Jen on Big Brother had to wear for a week? You're not gonna wear that without a T-shirt are you?"
Me: (Grinning from ear to ear) "Maybe in another twenty pounds. Why? You don't like my shiny purple spandex unitard?"
John: (Grinning and shaking his head no) "Where did you get that thing?"
Me: "Top of my closet in a bag of clothes I haven't worn in over 13 years."
Monday, July 30, 2007
Who Am I?
I’m changing my name ya’ll.
I’ve decided that no matter how you say it, or what my original intent, but Momma sounds like I’m calling myself Fat Ass. And while that’s not completely inappropriate, I would never call any of my friends Fat Ass. And in the spirit of being my own best friend, I’m retiring but Momma and giving myself a new handle. And because I stink at giving myself a nickname, I thought I might let you guys give me some input.
Here is a list of names, most of which, are things people have called me , because evidently my name is too hard to pronounce…
Geraldine
Josephine
Christine
Jolene
Kristin
Justin
Steve
Nobody ever actually called me Steve, but something about the way my brother pronounces my name, makes me turn and respond to anyone who calls out “Hey Steve!”
I also am thinking about
Jay Dee
Just Me (I think there are a lot of those on the internets)
The Little Red Headed Girl (to my husband’s Charlie Brown. Too many words.)
I’ve got nothing….
I’ve decided that no matter how you say it, or what my original intent, but Momma sounds like I’m calling myself Fat Ass. And while that’s not completely inappropriate, I would never call any of my friends Fat Ass. And in the spirit of being my own best friend, I’m retiring but Momma and giving myself a new handle. And because I stink at giving myself a nickname, I thought I might let you guys give me some input.
Here is a list of names, most of which, are things people have called me , because evidently my name is too hard to pronounce…
Geraldine
Josephine
Christine
Jolene
Kristin
Justin
Steve
Nobody ever actually called me Steve, but something about the way my brother pronounces my name, makes me turn and respond to anyone who calls out “Hey Steve!”
I also am thinking about
Jay Dee
Just Me (I think there are a lot of those on the internets)
The Little Red Headed Girl (to my husband’s Charlie Brown. Too many words.)
I’ve got nothing….
Sunday, July 29, 2007
I'VE BEEN TAGGED!! OMG!!
And now for Eight Random Things from Colleen at Spank your Inner Moppet...
Ya'll be sure to go visit and tell her I said HI!
1. It's raining again and my mood has gone from a 9 to a 3 in two short hours. It could have to do with the rain, it could have to do with the fact that, although my kitchen looks Fan-Tastic, the rest of my house still has little piles of junk that I took out of the kitchen, that I don't want to put back, but I can't bring myself to throw any of it away. I hate that about myself.
2. Friday Ace got himself into a little trouble, when Charlie told him he had to get off the computer he mumbled under his breath "If I was as big as you, I'd kill you." (I had to stifle a laugh, because...well, come on, he's THREE and we don't let him watch CSI or anything.) So he got sent to bed and may have gotten a spanking which I will neither confirm nor deny. Later when the boys, Charlie and I were on the couch watching a movie, Charlie said "I'm really hot. Is it hot to you?" I said "You better check the thermostat, Ace might be trying to kill you slowly." He's sort of known around here for shenanigans with the thermostat.
3. I haven't called any of the people that I need to call, to let them know that I will be here this week but won't be here the next week because I'm too dumb to know when I'm on vacation. (That would include my trainer, my psychologist and John's Viola teacher.) When Charlie showed up to work on Thursday, they had taped a big WELCOME BACK poster on his door and everyone had written little notes like "We really missed you" and "Please don't stay gone so long next time." and "HaHa!! Lay off the booze!" and "You're killin us! And we have to go through this again when?" Because Wednesday he had gone to everybody's office and sang "I'm on va-CAY-tion! I'm on va-CAY-tion!"
4. I finished the last Harry Potter book Friday night at around 10:30 and in my humble and un-literary opinion it was the best! Some of the books kind of dragged with a lot of information, but this one just tied up all the loose ends and was lots of action! And I wasn't smart enough to figure out the ending before I got there. I believe J.K. Rowling deserves to be richer than the Queen.
5. I'm really in the mood to see a new movie. The boys have seen most of the ones I wanted to see. I took them to see Ratatouille, amusing, but rat's cooking my food? EECHH!! Melee's seen Transformers and Evan Almighty and John's been to see Harry Potter. We rented Bruce Almighty the other day and although we've seen it before, I laughed SOO hard and we let the kids watch it and we must have looked at it five times and it never got old.
"I lik-a do-a da Cha-Cha!" Go rent it if you haven't seen it in a while!
6. This morning I was down to 192.6 on the scale, which is FABULOUS (35 lb loss) considering I haven't been very strict with my eating plan (she said while eating some M & M's) and haven't written in my food diary for about three weeks. Ya'll please don't tell my trainer, he'll want me to do more burpees for punishment. Cause I'm supposed to punish myself when I do stuff like that. Have I told ya'll lately how much I love M & M's and how fun it is to eat all the brown ones and then randomly decide to eat some other color next and then at the end you have some fun color combination? That's why I have a psychologist.
Ya'll be sure to go visit and tell her I said HI!
1. It's raining again and my mood has gone from a 9 to a 3 in two short hours. It could have to do with the rain, it could have to do with the fact that, although my kitchen looks Fan-Tastic, the rest of my house still has little piles of junk that I took out of the kitchen, that I don't want to put back, but I can't bring myself to throw any of it away. I hate that about myself.
2. Friday Ace got himself into a little trouble, when Charlie told him he had to get off the computer he mumbled under his breath "If I was as big as you, I'd kill you." (I had to stifle a laugh, because...well, come on, he's THREE and we don't let him watch CSI or anything.) So he got sent to bed and may have gotten a spanking which I will neither confirm nor deny. Later when the boys, Charlie and I were on the couch watching a movie, Charlie said "I'm really hot. Is it hot to you?" I said "You better check the thermostat, Ace might be trying to kill you slowly." He's sort of known around here for shenanigans with the thermostat.
3. I haven't called any of the people that I need to call, to let them know that I will be here this week but won't be here the next week because I'm too dumb to know when I'm on vacation. (That would include my trainer, my psychologist and John's Viola teacher.) When Charlie showed up to work on Thursday, they had taped a big WELCOME BACK poster on his door and everyone had written little notes like "We really missed you" and "Please don't stay gone so long next time." and "HaHa!! Lay off the booze!" and "You're killin us! And we have to go through this again when?" Because Wednesday he had gone to everybody's office and sang "I'm on va-CAY-tion! I'm on va-CAY-tion!"
4. I finished the last Harry Potter book Friday night at around 10:30 and in my humble and un-literary opinion it was the best! Some of the books kind of dragged with a lot of information, but this one just tied up all the loose ends and was lots of action! And I wasn't smart enough to figure out the ending before I got there. I believe J.K. Rowling deserves to be richer than the Queen.
5. I'm really in the mood to see a new movie. The boys have seen most of the ones I wanted to see. I took them to see Ratatouille, amusing, but rat's cooking my food? EECHH!! Melee's seen Transformers and Evan Almighty and John's been to see Harry Potter. We rented Bruce Almighty the other day and although we've seen it before, I laughed SOO hard and we let the kids watch it and we must have looked at it five times and it never got old.
"I lik-a do-a da Cha-Cha!" Go rent it if you haven't seen it in a while!
6. This morning I was down to 192.6 on the scale, which is FABULOUS (35 lb loss) considering I haven't been very strict with my eating plan (she said while eating some M & M's) and haven't written in my food diary for about three weeks. Ya'll please don't tell my trainer, he'll want me to do more burpees for punishment. Cause I'm supposed to punish myself when I do stuff like that. Have I told ya'll lately how much I love M & M's and how fun it is to eat all the brown ones and then randomly decide to eat some other color next and then at the end you have some fun color combination? That's why I have a psychologist.
7. Staring intently around the room really doesn't help you think of anymore random things. And neither will your husband who thinks Eight Random Things would be
- boloney
- ceiling fans
- tin cans
- water bottles
- stuffed animals
- silverware
- comb
- aloe vera gel
Which is an actual list of eight random things I can see while staring around the room.
8. Today I looked at the weather forecast for Amarillo for the next two weeks. Go ahead, guess...
Rain.
I'm really not too good at tag, but just for fun, let's see if I can get One Tall Momma, Bonnie B., and Jodi to play....Tag. You're it!
Friday, July 27, 2007
I Was on Vacation for Approximately 93 Minutes
Funny thing happened on the way to my vacation...
I was SO totally stressed out. Were the appliances coming or weren't they? They decided they would try and deliver and install on Tuesday between 3:00 and 6:00, which I took to mean, "I'll passify you by putting you on the list for Tuesday, but will then call you late Tuesday evening and tell you I can't make it till Wednesday, which is when I wanted to deliver them in the first place." But all that did was paralyze me while I waited. So instead of sitting around the house all day, I took the kids and we went to the gym and then the bank, Smoothie King, Sonic, Academy, and Walmart. (Because I have no problem doling out $6.00 for a Skinny High Protein Almond Mocha w/Diet Down for me, but the kids are getting a $2.00 Ice Cream Shake at Sonic) So we piddled around till 2:00, then I went back to Sonic and picked up their late lunch and we returned home to wait out the Maytag Men.
I could have been getting ready for our trip to Amarillo. We were tentatively planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning. But no, I was content to sit in my chair and read Harry Potter till the delivery truck rolled up at around 6:00. And yes, I could chronicle another long complaint against the Maytag store, but I'm bored with it and I know ya'll are too so....
I was SO totally stressed out. Were the appliances coming or weren't they? They decided they would try and deliver and install on Tuesday between 3:00 and 6:00, which I took to mean, "I'll passify you by putting you on the list for Tuesday, but will then call you late Tuesday evening and tell you I can't make it till Wednesday, which is when I wanted to deliver them in the first place." But all that did was paralyze me while I waited. So instead of sitting around the house all day, I took the kids and we went to the gym and then the bank, Smoothie King, Sonic, Academy, and Walmart. (Because I have no problem doling out $6.00 for a Skinny High Protein Almond Mocha w/Diet Down for me, but the kids are getting a $2.00 Ice Cream Shake at Sonic) So we piddled around till 2:00, then I went back to Sonic and picked up their late lunch and we returned home to wait out the Maytag Men.
I could have been getting ready for our trip to Amarillo. We were tentatively planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning. But no, I was content to sit in my chair and read Harry Potter till the delivery truck rolled up at around 6:00. And yes, I could chronicle another long complaint against the Maytag store, but I'm bored with it and I know ya'll are too so....
TA-DA!
ALL HAIL CHARLIE, THE KITCHEN REMODELER!
SO SEXY IT HUUUUUURRRRTS!
AND ALL HAIL MY BROTHER KRULL! WHO CAME OVER WITH HIS SAWS-ALL AND CUT A PERFECTLY STRAIGHT LINE FOR THE INSTALLERS TO PUT IN MY DOUBLE OVEN AND HELPED CHARLIE INSTALL THE MICROWAVE SLASH VENT A HOOD......
So on Wednesday, instead of getting ready for our trip to Amarillo, I sat in my chair reading Harry Potter right up until about 2:00 when I forced myself to put the book down and start packing everyone a suitcase. Charlie got home around 6:00 and he pulled out the trailer full of motorcycles and began to pack up camping gear. We had decided to drive to Canton where we would pick up John,spend the night with my Mom, and then head on to Amarillo Thursday morning. We packed suitcases, diapers, medicines, sheets, chairs, helmets, shoes and more shoes, makeup and hairdryers, pillows and stuffed animals, camera, snacks, hats, sunscreen, tools, ipod, purse, magazines, dvd's, and Harry Potter. We pulled out of the driveway just before 8:00 p.m., we circled the block and came back for the Best of The Dallas Cowboys DVD set, and we were off. 93 minutes later, Charlie spoke to my brother-in-law and realized we weren't supposed to be on vacation until NEXT week.
I'm just telling you right here and now, I'm not unpacking that suburban.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Appliances and Humor. I need both.
The appliance saga continues. I told you guys last Wednesday that the appliances were backordered for another week. Well then she called me late Friday and said "I have all three of your appliances! (Aren't I good and now you can't be pissed at me!) Could we come to install them Monday between 10:00 and 2:00?" And I said, "Why yes! You CAN come and install them between 10:00 and 2:00! (You've totally redeemed yourself and I can't wait to get off the phone and sing your praises!)
So Charlie and I kicked it into high gear this weekend and grouted (Thursday and Friday nights) and then repainted all the kitchen cabinets. (Yes! You should be totally impressed, because repainting cabinetry sucks!) First coat all day Saturday and second coat all day Sunday. Charlie sanded and first coated all the scub marks, (scubs being a technical term) and then I painted while he, reran the drain to the dishwasher because we forgot to knock out the drain plug in the new disposal and therefore the dishwasher had no place to drain. (Notice I said we, because I'm thoughtful like that!) Then he changed out the old ugly faux wood panel and shiny brass ceiling fan for the new shiny white one, reglued all the drawers that were falling apart, ran to the store to take back the handles I didn't like and get more knobs (Because I'm great at math and counting things!), and he got a new white faux wood blind and hung that, and took my half doors that have louvers that were totally scuffed and peeling and painted them outside with the fancy spray painter and then spray painted the inside and outsides of all my drawers. (Because the goobers who painted the cabinets before us only painted the outside!)
And we patted ourselves on the back some more!
Then this morning the owner of the Maytag store called to tell me that two of his installers had called in sick and he needed to reschedule for Wednesday. And that's all I have to say about that.
So I'll leave you with this little bit of Ace-humor and if you'd like to cheer me up, you can leave me a joke or a funny in my comments. Don't feel any pressure. It's not like I'm on the verge of going postal in the Maytag store or anything.
* * * *
We were getting ready to leave my Mom's a couple of weeks ago and I was in the back bedroom tidying up where the kids had been sleeping. Ace walked in put his hands on his hips and in his 3 year old Texas drawl said, "WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?"
And I squinted my eyes at him and answered in my best 'You must be ridiculous!' voice, "I'm making the bed!"
And he says "HOLY SHRIMP!" and exits the room. While I stammer and laugh "HEY! You better watch you exclamatory language young man!"
So Charlie and I kicked it into high gear this weekend and grouted (Thursday and Friday nights) and then repainted all the kitchen cabinets. (Yes! You should be totally impressed, because repainting cabinetry sucks!) First coat all day Saturday and second coat all day Sunday. Charlie sanded and first coated all the scub marks, (scubs being a technical term) and then I painted while he, reran the drain to the dishwasher because we forgot to knock out the drain plug in the new disposal and therefore the dishwasher had no place to drain. (Notice I said we, because I'm thoughtful like that!) Then he changed out the old ugly faux wood panel and shiny brass ceiling fan for the new shiny white one, reglued all the drawers that were falling apart, ran to the store to take back the handles I didn't like and get more knobs (Because I'm great at math and counting things!), and he got a new white faux wood blind and hung that, and took my half doors that have louvers that were totally scuffed and peeling and painted them outside with the fancy spray painter and then spray painted the inside and outsides of all my drawers. (Because the goobers who painted the cabinets before us only painted the outside!)
And we patted ourselves on the back some more!
Then this morning the owner of the Maytag store called to tell me that two of his installers had called in sick and he needed to reschedule for Wednesday. And that's all I have to say about that.
So I'll leave you with this little bit of Ace-humor and if you'd like to cheer me up, you can leave me a joke or a funny in my comments. Don't feel any pressure. It's not like I'm on the verge of going postal in the Maytag store or anything.
* * * *
We were getting ready to leave my Mom's a couple of weeks ago and I was in the back bedroom tidying up where the kids had been sleeping. Ace walked in put his hands on his hips and in his 3 year old Texas drawl said, "WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?"
And I squinted my eyes at him and answered in my best 'You must be ridiculous!' voice, "I'm making the bed!"
And he says "HOLY SHRIMP!" and exits the room. While I stammer and laugh "HEY! You better watch you exclamatory language young man!"
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Stabbed in the Back by the Maytag Man
Today I was supposed to be posting pictures of my fab new appliances. Go ahead, take a look, I'll wait right here...
Nope, NO FAB NEW APPLIANCES! We ordered them last Wednesday.
Tuesday I called and asked for the status and the girl said "Oh, they're scheduled for delivery for tomorrow." So yesterday I got up all giddy with anticipation. I vacuumed, dusted, rearranged all the piles of stuff from my cabinets, I even moved out the refrigerator and cleaned underneath it so I wouldn't be embarrased when they moved the old one out. (And man, would I have been embarrased, evidently that's a chore that needs to be scheduled on some kind of monthly basis.) Then midmorning I started cleaning out the odds and ends and leftovers out of the fridge. When they hadn't called by noon, I stopped by to say "WHAT up?! :) " you know, in an absolutely jovial, "Love ya. Where's my Maytag Man?" sort of way. That's when she told me she was still waiting on my Ice2-O. "Huh?" Turns out, my fridge is BACKORDERED for TWO WEEKS!
TWO WEEKS? When was she gonna call and tell me THAT critical piece of information? Evidently, never. I was just gonna sit here the entire day saying things like "They must be really busy today." "They're probably waiting till the end of the day since we have three things to install." "They probably had trouble with someone else's delivery, they're just running a little late." "The rain's slowing them down, I bet." "Man, they're really cutting it close." "But it's nine o'clock, why didn't anyone call?" Or today, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day, for SEVEN MORE DAYS WHEN I'M GONE ON VACATION!!!!!@#%"!!!!!!!!!!
But I'm not bitter.
Nope, NO FAB NEW APPLIANCES! We ordered them last Wednesday.
Tuesday I called and asked for the status and the girl said "Oh, they're scheduled for delivery for tomorrow." So yesterday I got up all giddy with anticipation. I vacuumed, dusted, rearranged all the piles of stuff from my cabinets, I even moved out the refrigerator and cleaned underneath it so I wouldn't be embarrased when they moved the old one out. (And man, would I have been embarrased, evidently that's a chore that needs to be scheduled on some kind of monthly basis.) Then midmorning I started cleaning out the odds and ends and leftovers out of the fridge. When they hadn't called by noon, I stopped by to say "WHAT up?! :) " you know, in an absolutely jovial, "Love ya. Where's my Maytag Man?" sort of way. That's when she told me she was still waiting on my Ice2-O. "Huh?" Turns out, my fridge is BACKORDERED for TWO WEEKS!
TWO WEEKS? When was she gonna call and tell me THAT critical piece of information? Evidently, never. I was just gonna sit here the entire day saying things like "They must be really busy today." "They're probably waiting till the end of the day since we have three things to install." "They probably had trouble with someone else's delivery, they're just running a little late." "The rain's slowing them down, I bet." "Man, they're really cutting it close." "But it's nine o'clock, why didn't anyone call?" Or today, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day, for SEVEN MORE DAYS WHEN I'M GONE ON VACATION!!!!!@#%"!!!!!!!!!!
But I'm not bitter.
So instead of a pic of my cool new appliances, I'll let you see this one. Please excuse the tired piece of toast and my old nasty cookie sheet. I'm going to Wally today to buy two new shiny ones, because I won't sully my new oven with a rusty bottomed cookie sheet.
Our arms are SO tired from patting each other on the back! Not to mention I've got some kind of weird hip flexor/knee pain from leaning over the counter for seven hours straight and Charlie damaged something in his groin area that is somehow critical for pushing down hard enough on the brake to stop his truck. I don't think we'll ever get hired out for this kind of work, we'd have to charge $100 an hour a piece, plus we'd both end up on Workmans Comp. Tonight we've convinced ourselves that we're going to grout, (WE being the collective we as in Charlie grouting and me sitting and giving unsolicited advice.)
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Never Had ONE Lesson!
Our first attempt at the tile backsplash.Not bad for amatuers. Plus the labor is dirt cheap.
I'm in charge of artistic matters.
Charlie is in charge of Geometery, gameplan, electrical, mastic, and working the scary wet saw.
Today we start the LOOOOONG backsplash behind the sink, with three plugs and turning a corner.
Cross your fingers!
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I Was Here and Now I'm Gone
I'm not sure why anyone would even be checking my blog at this point, but in the spirit of "Dear Diary"....
We've been back from Canton for almost a week now. We left to get away from the relentless rain only to find that it was relentlessly raining in Canton as well. Daddy says I'll have to go to Phoenix if I want to escape the rain. It was a nice change of scenery and we went to Bahama Mama's every day. This is one of the highlights for the kids, they love going to the Shave Ice stand, we pulled up to the window the first day and after I had determined what flavor everybody wanted I started ordering, "I need one baby Cotton Candy flat, one baby Cotton Candy, one baby Mudslide flat and one baby mudslide." As soon as I said Baby Cotton Candy, Ace started hysterical laughing in the back seat and yelling "Baby Cotton Candy! BABY Cotton Candy!" The girl craned her neck out the window and asked if everything was okay. Yep, we're easily entertained.
Charlie came for the weekend and I drug him to first Monday, where we looked at Arts and Craps and ate lot's of things on a stick. Then we drove to Forney to look at our old house, because we like to check back and see if neighborhood decay has set in. They actually had put a nice new fence around the place. Last time we went by, the fence had fallen down and they had a trailer chained to a tree. (Nice..)
We took the kids to the Tyler Zoo and it was a lot of fun, right up until we lost Ace.
You know when you lose your kids for just a second in the store and second by second the panic raises just a little, because deep down inside, you know they just ducked into a clothes rack, but the panic guy inside just keeps watching the clock and raising the dial? Well I got all the way to level red when I had to go into the cafe and start the procedure for a code Adam. And why is it in a panic situation, you can never remember what your own kid is wearing, or looks like in any way, or for that matter, remember that you have a digital picture of him that you took a minute and a half ago, before he went careening away from the giraffes? I was halfway through my discription when they ran in to tell me they found him. The whole time we're walking around trying to find him, I've got Peach by the hand (because By-God, I'm not gonna loose two in one day!) and she keeps talking the whole time. Things like "Is Ace gonna be lost forever? What are we gonna do if we can't find him? Did he go in with the elephants? Are we gonna go home if we can't find him? " And as the seconds wear on, I keep telling the panic guy to "SHUTUP!", but I'm afraid that's what I'm gonna say to Peach....
Good times.
He took a wrong turn as he was coming down the path to see the giraffes and he was just as scared as we were when we found him. He was crying and saying "Momma, I was looking for you everywhere and I couldn't find you." Heartbreaker! Don't ever tell me that kids on a leash is a bad idea, it's not. I'm just not confident enough to tell everyone to "Bugger off" if I were to use one and so I cave to the politically correct and let my kid get lost in the zoo. Politcally correct bastards!
We also went through a few model homes while we were in Forney, which we do for a hobby. But after looking at so many model homes over the last year, I came home and convinced Charlie it was time for a kitchen remodel. That was on the Friday that we got home. We went Saturday to price some things and by Sunday we were knee deep into a do it yourself countertop renovation. Here it is Thursday a week later and he just finished attaching all the counters and at midnight he is currently trying to get all my water reconected so that I can wash the week worth of dishes I have stacked in odd places all around the house. We're moving at the speed of Mount Rushmore, but Charlie will be an expert when we're done. He knows how to do all kinds of things I didn't know he knew how to do. He's in deep trouble now.
These are Before....I got so excited about ripping out the counters, that I forgot to take good before pictures.
And these are currently, note the fancy stainless backsplash behind the cooktop. Charlie got all the water running and nothing leaks! We're going to do tile backsplash behind the sink. I'm working on the pattern.....
We've been back from Canton for almost a week now. We left to get away from the relentless rain only to find that it was relentlessly raining in Canton as well. Daddy says I'll have to go to Phoenix if I want to escape the rain. It was a nice change of scenery and we went to Bahama Mama's every day. This is one of the highlights for the kids, they love going to the Shave Ice stand, we pulled up to the window the first day and after I had determined what flavor everybody wanted I started ordering, "I need one baby Cotton Candy flat, one baby Cotton Candy, one baby Mudslide flat and one baby mudslide." As soon as I said Baby Cotton Candy, Ace started hysterical laughing in the back seat and yelling "Baby Cotton Candy! BABY Cotton Candy!" The girl craned her neck out the window and asked if everything was okay. Yep, we're easily entertained.
Charlie came for the weekend and I drug him to first Monday, where we looked at Arts and Craps and ate lot's of things on a stick. Then we drove to Forney to look at our old house, because we like to check back and see if neighborhood decay has set in. They actually had put a nice new fence around the place. Last time we went by, the fence had fallen down and they had a trailer chained to a tree. (Nice..)
We took the kids to the Tyler Zoo and it was a lot of fun, right up until we lost Ace.
You know when you lose your kids for just a second in the store and second by second the panic raises just a little, because deep down inside, you know they just ducked into a clothes rack, but the panic guy inside just keeps watching the clock and raising the dial? Well I got all the way to level red when I had to go into the cafe and start the procedure for a code Adam. And why is it in a panic situation, you can never remember what your own kid is wearing, or looks like in any way, or for that matter, remember that you have a digital picture of him that you took a minute and a half ago, before he went careening away from the giraffes? I was halfway through my discription when they ran in to tell me they found him. The whole time we're walking around trying to find him, I've got Peach by the hand (because By-God, I'm not gonna loose two in one day!) and she keeps talking the whole time. Things like "Is Ace gonna be lost forever? What are we gonna do if we can't find him? Did he go in with the elephants? Are we gonna go home if we can't find him? " And as the seconds wear on, I keep telling the panic guy to "SHUTUP!", but I'm afraid that's what I'm gonna say to Peach....
Good times.
He took a wrong turn as he was coming down the path to see the giraffes and he was just as scared as we were when we found him. He was crying and saying "Momma, I was looking for you everywhere and I couldn't find you." Heartbreaker! Don't ever tell me that kids on a leash is a bad idea, it's not. I'm just not confident enough to tell everyone to "Bugger off" if I were to use one and so I cave to the politically correct and let my kid get lost in the zoo. Politcally correct bastards!
We also went through a few model homes while we were in Forney, which we do for a hobby. But after looking at so many model homes over the last year, I came home and convinced Charlie it was time for a kitchen remodel. That was on the Friday that we got home. We went Saturday to price some things and by Sunday we were knee deep into a do it yourself countertop renovation. Here it is Thursday a week later and he just finished attaching all the counters and at midnight he is currently trying to get all my water reconected so that I can wash the week worth of dishes I have stacked in odd places all around the house. We're moving at the speed of Mount Rushmore, but Charlie will be an expert when we're done. He knows how to do all kinds of things I didn't know he knew how to do. He's in deep trouble now.
These are Before....I got so excited about ripping out the counters, that I forgot to take good before pictures.And these are currently, note the fancy stainless backsplash behind the cooktop. Charlie got all the water running and nothing leaks! We're going to do tile backsplash behind the sink. I'm working on the pattern.....
More to come...stay tuned.
Tomorrow (I guess today), I'm meeting my Mom halfway to her house to switch Melee' for John. Each gets to spend a week at her house, so that she can share the joy that is my kids. I've had the talkers all week, it will be so nice to have Melee' back so we can enjoy a little silence together.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Power to the People
Today Ace asked me to put his Cody action figure on the surfboard for him, and when I handed it back I sang,
"Let's go surfin now, everybody's learnin how...
"NO!"
".. come on and safari with meeeee!"
"NO SINGING!"
"Why?"
"People can't sing when people are playing."
"Why not?"
"Because when people sing, when people are playing, people get mad."
We're headed out to Canton Trade Days today. It's late in the third quarter and my defense is suffering and my rebounding is almost non-existent, so we're going to Mom's where I can pick up another player and we can tighten up the zone. Two on four is so much easier than one on four.
"Let's go surfin now, everybody's learnin how...
"NO!"
".. come on and safari with meeeee!"
"NO SINGING!"
"Why?"
"People can't sing when people are playing."
"Why not?"
"Because when people sing, when people are playing, people get mad."
****************
We're headed out to Canton Trade Days today. It's late in the third quarter and my defense is suffering and my rebounding is almost non-existent, so we're going to Mom's where I can pick up another player and we can tighten up the zone. Two on four is so much easier than one on four.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Why Moms Don't Go to Scout Camp
John called at about 12:30 yesterday to tell us he was home. I jumped in the truck and hurried over to the Church parking lot to pick him up. I pulled up beside the trailer, got out and greeted him with a big hug and Scoutmaster said "Whoa! Look at that brave Momma! She's gonna hug you without making you take a shower first!" At first glance he looked pretty clean, he smelled a little campy, but that's about what I expected. On the drive home I had a chance to give him a little closer inspection and after looking at his fingernails, I said "How many times did you hit the shower?" He gave me a sideways grin and I said "JOHN! TELL ME YOU TOOK A SHOWER WHILE YOU WERE GONE!" "Well, I showered off at the pool after Lifesaving." "So what you're saying is that you didn't use any soap." No comment.
Evidently the facilities at George W. Pirtle Scout Reservation were a little on the primitive side. He said that the "toilets" were buckets sitting over holes with metal toilet seats on top. He said he trooped over to the Camp Store once every other day and asked to use the real facilities. He only asked every other day because he didn't want to push his luck. He said "They had soap and everything in there."
Remember how we negotiated about what clothes he would be taking and that I won the argument over taking six (count em) SIX pair of underwear? And of course he took a week's worth of shirts and two or three pair of shorts and one pair of jeans and a bathing suit....
This is the bag of dirty clothes he brought home....
This is what the bathing suit looked like after a weeks worth of Woodcarving, Ranger Corps, and Lifesaving, followed by a shower with no soap...
His feet and legs are covered in bites. Mosquitoes, horse flies, and ants. He has a rash from wearing a bathing suit 24/7 and the bites on his arms are swollen and angry. And he got a bee sting on his leg. But he didn't get lost or electrocuted.
I'm so glad he's home.
Evidently the facilities at George W. Pirtle Scout Reservation were a little on the primitive side. He said that the "toilets" were buckets sitting over holes with metal toilet seats on top. He said he trooped over to the Camp Store once every other day and asked to use the real facilities. He only asked every other day because he didn't want to push his luck. He said "They had soap and everything in there."
Remember how we negotiated about what clothes he would be taking and that I won the argument over taking six (count em) SIX pair of underwear? And of course he took a week's worth of shirts and two or three pair of shorts and one pair of jeans and a bathing suit....
This is the bag of dirty clothes he brought home....
That one gallon bag had one shirt, one bathing suit, a pair of socks and one (count em) ONE pair of underwear!
This is what the bathing suit looked like after a weeks worth of Woodcarving, Ranger Corps, and Lifesaving, followed by a shower with no soap...His feet and legs are covered in bites. Mosquitoes, horse flies, and ants. He has a rash from wearing a bathing suit 24/7 and the bites on his arms are swollen and angry. And he got a bee sting on his leg. But he didn't get lost or electrocuted.
I'm so glad he's home.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Another Day of Self-Loathing
Last night we went to the annual Faith Formation Family Spaghetti Dinner. Where we cram over 200 parents and children into a too small Meeting Hall, feed toddlers paper plates loaded with spaghetti sauce and a meatball with pink lemonade and then the kids in the program get to sing their songs complete with sign language and then we sit through a PowerPoint presentation of pictures from their week.
It took Ace approximately 20 minutes to eat his spaghetti and then he and I wrestled in a stacking chair for the next hour and a half. During the slide show, he turned to me and yelled over the music, "I DON'T LIKE MYSELF!"
and I said "Why don't you like yourself?"
to which he replied, "BECAUSE THIS IS BOOORING!"
It took Ace approximately 20 minutes to eat his spaghetti and then he and I wrestled in a stacking chair for the next hour and a half. During the slide show, he turned to me and yelled over the music, "I DON'T LIKE MYSELF!"
and I said "Why don't you like yourself?"
to which he replied, "BECAUSE THIS IS BOOORING!"
Thursday, June 21, 2007
The Trouble with Food and Blogging
I'm so tired of food.
(I still want to play Mick jr. Are you spelling Mick Jr. ? Mom are you SPELLING Mick Jr.?)
I'm tired of thinking about food, shopping for food, preparing food, writing down food, looking at food. I know it's not easier to quit smoking, but it sure feels like it sometimes. At least when you decide to quit smoking and throw out your pack of smokes, you don't have to go to the store and
(When will you get me to Mick Jr? When will you get me to Mick Jr.? When will you spell Mick Jr.? When will you spell MICK JR?!)
you don't have to go to the store and buy your kids all their favorite kinds of cigarettes. Or talk them into smoking lights instead of 100's because it's healthier for them. And then you don't have to make sure their ashtrays are clean and
(Why can't I put my shoe back on? Why can't I put my shoe back on? Why can't I put my shoe back on?)
make sure their ashtrays are clean and that you have lighters in all their favorite colors. You don't have to open their carton of cigarettes for them and undo the cellophane because they can't do it themselves and then light their cigarettes for them. You don't have to pack their cigarettes for them so that they have them when they go to Vacation Bible School. And you don't feel compelled to drive thru the local Indian Reservation Drive-thru to buy them some smokes so you don't have to go home and fix them their smokes yourself.
(Is the deer Bambi? The deer is not Bambi. Bambi is not a deer. The real Bambi is little. She jumped so ..... Is Bambi a he or a she? Who's is this? Who's book is ... who's phone is this, who's phone is this? No it's not your's it's just ours. It's just not yours it's everybodies. When will the phone ring? When will the phone ring? When will the PHONE ring? Can I ring the phone? One tiny bit? One tiny bit? Can I? )
(Mom does the green spray sting? Does the green spray sting? What does all that spell? Does that spell MOM? What does all that say? Why can't you tell me?)
(I still want to play Mick jr. Are you spelling Mick Jr. ? Mom are you SPELLING Mick Jr.?)
I'm tired of thinking about food, shopping for food, preparing food, writing down food, looking at food. I know it's not easier to quit smoking, but it sure feels like it sometimes. At least when you decide to quit smoking and throw out your pack of smokes, you don't have to go to the store and
(When will you get me to Mick Jr? When will you get me to Mick Jr.? When will you spell Mick Jr.? When will you spell MICK JR?!)
you don't have to go to the store and buy your kids all their favorite kinds of cigarettes. Or talk them into smoking lights instead of 100's because it's healthier for them. And then you don't have to make sure their ashtrays are clean and
(Why can't I put my shoe back on? Why can't I put my shoe back on? Why can't I put my shoe back on?)
make sure their ashtrays are clean and that you have lighters in all their favorite colors. You don't have to open their carton of cigarettes for them and undo the cellophane because they can't do it themselves and then light their cigarettes for them. You don't have to pack their cigarettes for them so that they have them when they go to Vacation Bible School. And you don't feel compelled to drive thru the local Indian Reservation Drive-thru to buy them some smokes so you don't have to go home and fix them their smokes yourself.
(Is the deer Bambi? The deer is not Bambi. Bambi is not a deer. The real Bambi is little. She jumped so ..... Is Bambi a he or a she? Who's is this? Who's book is ... who's phone is this, who's phone is this? No it's not your's it's just ours. It's just not yours it's everybodies. When will the phone ring? When will the phone ring? When will the PHONE ring? Can I ring the phone? One tiny bit? One tiny bit? Can I? )
(Mom does the green spray sting? Does the green spray sting? What does all that spell? Does that spell MOM? What does all that say? Why can't you tell me?)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Good Morning Sunshine.
It's 4:35 in the morning. It's pouring down rain. Complete with soft thunder and some lightning. But am I curled up in bed with Charlie and the toddlers that just tiptoed in and climbed under the soft sheets?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
No, I'm up and fixing to go out into the downpour so I can go to the gym and do burpees and squats with a 12 pound weighted ball and other similar tortures. But I'm not bitter.
Meet you on the couch at 6:30 a.m. sharp.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
No, I'm up and fixing to go out into the downpour so I can go to the gym and do burpees and squats with a 12 pound weighted ball and other similar tortures. But I'm not bitter.
Meet you on the couch at 6:30 a.m. sharp.
Monday, June 18, 2007
3rd ANNUAL WEEK OF WOE
John left for Boy Scout camp yesterday. This is the week that I spend
a) regretting every bad thought I've had about him over the last couple of weeks
and
b) praying that he doesn't get lost or electrocuted
He is a frustration and a delight all rolled up into one package. He is his father. And every time he gets me rolling down the hill I think to myself "Self. He's just like Charlie. Do you remember how obnoxious Charlie was in the seventh grade?" and I think to myself "Why yes, I do. But back in the day, I had the luxury of not speaking to Charlie for weeks at a time when he went on one of his 'I'm right and you're wrong!' tangents. And I quite liked it that way." So I spend the week reviewing and regretting and praying.
Like the last three days before camp when I kept reminding him that he needed to take his list and start getting his things together. And how I finally had to force him to go upstairs and get it done and he couldn't come down till he was through with the job. And then he finally asked me to come upstairs and help him check everything off the list. But every time I would make a suggestion he would tell me that I was wrong, why he didn't need it, etc. I won the battle over how many pair of underwear to take. And we had a very heated discussion over the fact that he didn't want to take his compass "Mom, I'm not taking orienteering!" "I know but you're a Boy Scout and you're supposed to carry one in case you get lost! 'Be Prepared' and all that!" Well, he took the compass, but I know darn well that it's sitting in the bottom of his footlocker where it will remain for the duration of the week.
And how I got onto him for creating soap and lotion containers out of those little egg things that come out of gumball machines with prizes in them. "What are you doing! Those are gonna leak everywhere!" "No they're not, I hot glued them." "But hot glue won't hold when it's hot outside!" "Yes it will!"
Or, "Mom, will you do for me, what Kyle's mom does for him?" "What does she do?" "She sends him a care package with beef jerky and cookies and M & M's and stuff." "But you guys aren't supposed to keep any food in your tents." "I know, we have to eat it all that day and Kyle shares with us." "So if Kyle's mom is sending all that stuff won't it be too much if I send more?"
Or this pleasant little exchange we had last Tuesday, "Mom, you need to give Melee' a week break from video games, he's playing them way too much." "Well, if I did that, I'd have to give you a one week break from the T.V." "I'm getting a one week break next week. He's addicted to playing those games you should really give him a break." And with steam shooting out of my ears I turned to him and said "You know what you just did? You just told me I suck at my job. This isn't the kind of job where people come around and pat you on the back and tell you your doing it right either. You've got a lot of nerve telling me I suck at my job! You can do whatever you want with your kids, but you guys are my kids and I get to decide!"
Quality parenting skills right there.
"Lord, I'm sorry bout that right there, and be with the starving pygmies, Amen."
I've already been to Walmart this morning and bought him some beef jerky, a small tube of
M & M Minis, a card, some York Peppermint Patty mints in a tin, and some Kool Aid singles. I'm still on the fence about sending him some more spending money. That child loves to purchase souvenirs, gee-gaws and crap. Of course as soon as that thought comes out my mouth, he'll be in the camp store purchasing something just for me.
a) regretting every bad thought I've had about him over the last couple of weeks
and
b) praying that he doesn't get lost or electrocuted
He is a frustration and a delight all rolled up into one package. He is his father. And every time he gets me rolling down the hill I think to myself "Self. He's just like Charlie. Do you remember how obnoxious Charlie was in the seventh grade?" and I think to myself "Why yes, I do. But back in the day, I had the luxury of not speaking to Charlie for weeks at a time when he went on one of his 'I'm right and you're wrong!' tangents. And I quite liked it that way." So I spend the week reviewing and regretting and praying.
Like the last three days before camp when I kept reminding him that he needed to take his list and start getting his things together. And how I finally had to force him to go upstairs and get it done and he couldn't come down till he was through with the job. And then he finally asked me to come upstairs and help him check everything off the list. But every time I would make a suggestion he would tell me that I was wrong, why he didn't need it, etc. I won the battle over how many pair of underwear to take. And we had a very heated discussion over the fact that he didn't want to take his compass "Mom, I'm not taking orienteering!" "I know but you're a Boy Scout and you're supposed to carry one in case you get lost! 'Be Prepared' and all that!" Well, he took the compass, but I know darn well that it's sitting in the bottom of his footlocker where it will remain for the duration of the week.
And how I got onto him for creating soap and lotion containers out of those little egg things that come out of gumball machines with prizes in them. "What are you doing! Those are gonna leak everywhere!" "No they're not, I hot glued them." "But hot glue won't hold when it's hot outside!" "Yes it will!"
Or, "Mom, will you do for me, what Kyle's mom does for him?" "What does she do?" "She sends him a care package with beef jerky and cookies and M & M's and stuff." "But you guys aren't supposed to keep any food in your tents." "I know, we have to eat it all that day and Kyle shares with us." "So if Kyle's mom is sending all that stuff won't it be too much if I send more?"
Or this pleasant little exchange we had last Tuesday, "Mom, you need to give Melee' a week break from video games, he's playing them way too much." "Well, if I did that, I'd have to give you a one week break from the T.V." "I'm getting a one week break next week. He's addicted to playing those games you should really give him a break." And with steam shooting out of my ears I turned to him and said "You know what you just did? You just told me I suck at my job. This isn't the kind of job where people come around and pat you on the back and tell you your doing it right either. You've got a lot of nerve telling me I suck at my job! You can do whatever you want with your kids, but you guys are my kids and I get to decide!"
Quality parenting skills right there.
"Lord, I'm sorry bout that right there, and be with the starving pygmies, Amen."
I've already been to Walmart this morning and bought him some beef jerky, a small tube of
M & M Minis, a card, some York Peppermint Patty mints in a tin, and some Kool Aid singles. I'm still on the fence about sending him some more spending money. That child loves to purchase souvenirs, gee-gaws and crap. Of course as soon as that thought comes out my mouth, he'll be in the camp store purchasing something just for me.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Happiness is...
These are my Hydrangeas. They make me happy because I have a notoriously brown thumb.
Something to make my feet happy. The ones in the center are my fancy Rainbow Flip-Flops Charlie bought me for reaching my first goal.
This is a shirt I bought Peach. Old Navy makes me happy.
My "Rosie" Electra Bike that Charlie got me for my 40th birthday. Am I spoily or what? She needs a basket I can't decide between natural wicker or white. Suggestions appreciated.
Don't Arglyes make you happy? The golf shoes I got for Father's Day.
(Charlie got Clubs and Shoes. Settle down people.)
My old Nokia phone with a snazzy pink phone cover and belt clip.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Fastest Way to Make Me Angry at 6:00 a.m.
John: Mom? How does gasoline make the car go?
Me: Well...um... (forehead wrinkle) ... It. (pause)
(With a mad face) It has something to do with the spark plugs. Ask your dad.
If you feel compelled to have to talk at 6:00 in the morning, which I totally won't blame you for, because evidently that's how God wired you up, ask me something like...
Did you smell that skunk? or
How do you spell sleep? or
How do you make a cookie?
Me: Well...um... (forehead wrinkle) ... It. (pause)
(With a mad face) It has something to do with the spark plugs. Ask your dad.
If you feel compelled to have to talk at 6:00 in the morning, which I totally won't blame you for, because evidently that's how God wired you up, ask me something like...
Did you smell that skunk? or
How do you spell sleep? or
How do you make a cookie?
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