Monday, July 30, 2007

Who Am I?

I’m changing my name ya’ll.

I’ve decided that no matter how you say it, or what my original intent, but Momma sounds like I’m calling myself Fat Ass. And while that’s not completely inappropriate, I would never call any of my friends Fat Ass. And in the spirit of being my own best friend, I’m retiring but Momma and giving myself a new handle. And because I stink at giving myself a nickname, I thought I might let you guys give me some input.

Here is a list of names, most of which, are things people have called me , because evidently my name is too hard to pronounce…

Geraldine
Josephine
Christine
Jolene
Kristin
Justin
Steve

Nobody ever actually called me Steve, but something about the way my brother pronounces my name, makes me turn and respond to anyone who calls out “Hey Steve!”

I also am thinking about

Jay Dee
Just Me (I think there are a lot of those on the internets)
The Little Red Headed Girl (to my husband’s Charlie Brown. Too many words.)


I’ve got nothing….

Sunday, July 29, 2007

I'VE BEEN TAGGED!! OMG!!

And now for Eight Random Things from Colleen at Spank your Inner Moppet...
Ya'll be sure to go visit and tell her I said HI!

1. It's raining again and my mood has gone from a 9 to a 3 in two short hours. It could have to do with the rain, it could have to do with the fact that, although my kitchen looks Fan-Tastic, the rest of my house still has little piles of junk that I took out of the kitchen, that I don't want to put back, but I can't bring myself to throw any of it away. I hate that about myself.

2. Friday Ace got himself into a little trouble, when Charlie told him he had to get off the computer he mumbled under his breath "If I was as big as you, I'd kill you." (I had to stifle a laugh, because...well, come on, he's THREE and we don't let him watch CSI or anything.) So he got sent to bed and may have gotten a spanking which I will neither confirm nor deny. Later when the boys, Charlie and I were on the couch watching a movie, Charlie said "I'm really hot. Is it hot to you?" I said "You better check the thermostat, Ace might be trying to kill you slowly." He's sort of known around here for shenanigans with the thermostat.

3. I haven't called any of the people that I need to call, to let them know that I will be here this week but won't be here the next week because I'm too dumb to know when I'm on vacation. (That would include my trainer, my psychologist and John's Viola teacher.) When Charlie showed up to work on Thursday, they had taped a big WELCOME BACK poster on his door and everyone had written little notes like "We really missed you" and "Please don't stay gone so long next time." and "HaHa!! Lay off the booze!" and "You're killin us! And we have to go through this again when?" Because Wednesday he had gone to everybody's office and sang "I'm on va-CAY-tion! I'm on va-CAY-tion!"

4. I finished the last Harry Potter book Friday night at around 10:30 and in my humble and un-literary opinion it was the best! Some of the books kind of dragged with a lot of information, but this one just tied up all the loose ends and was lots of action! And I wasn't smart enough to figure out the ending before I got there. I believe J.K. Rowling deserves to be richer than the Queen.

5. I'm really in the mood to see a new movie. The boys have seen most of the ones I wanted to see. I took them to see Ratatouille, amusing, but rat's cooking my food? EECHH!! Melee's seen Transformers and Evan Almighty and John's been to see Harry Potter. We rented Bruce Almighty the other day and although we've seen it before, I laughed SOO hard and we let the kids watch it and we must have looked at it five times and it never got old.
"I lik-a do-a da Cha-Cha!" Go rent it if you haven't seen it in a while!

6. This morning I was down to 192.6 on the scale, which is FABULOUS (35 lb loss) considering I haven't been very strict with my eating plan (she said while eating some M & M's) and haven't written in my food diary for about three weeks. Ya'll please don't tell my trainer, he'll want me to do more burpees for punishment. Cause I'm supposed to punish myself when I do stuff like that. Have I told ya'll lately how much I love M & M's and how fun it is to eat all the brown ones and then randomly decide to eat some other color next and then at the end you have some fun color combination? That's why I have a psychologist.

7. Staring intently around the room really doesn't help you think of anymore random things. And neither will your husband who thinks Eight Random Things would be

  • boloney
  • ceiling fans
  • tin cans
  • water bottles
  • stuffed animals
  • silverware
  • comb
  • aloe vera gel

Which is an actual list of eight random things I can see while staring around the room.

8. Today I looked at the weather forecast for Amarillo for the next two weeks. Go ahead, guess...

Rain.

I'm really not too good at tag, but just for fun, let's see if I can get One Tall Momma, Bonnie B., and Jodi to play....Tag. You're it!

Friday, July 27, 2007

I Was on Vacation for Approximately 93 Minutes

Funny thing happened on the way to my vacation...

I was SO totally stressed out. Were the appliances coming or weren't they? They decided they would try and deliver and install on Tuesday between 3:00 and 6:00, which I took to mean, "I'll passify you by putting you on the list for Tuesday, but will then call you late Tuesday evening and tell you I can't make it till Wednesday, which is when I wanted to deliver them in the first place." But all that did was paralyze me while I waited. So instead of sitting around the house all day, I took the kids and we went to the gym and then the bank, Smoothie King, Sonic, Academy, and Walmart. (Because I have no problem doling out $6.00 for a Skinny High Protein Almond Mocha w/Diet Down for me, but the kids are getting a $2.00 Ice Cream Shake at Sonic) So we piddled around till 2:00, then I went back to Sonic and picked up their late lunch and we returned home to wait out the Maytag Men.

I could have been getting ready for our trip to Amarillo. We were tentatively planning on leaving Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning. But no, I was content to sit in my chair and read Harry Potter till the delivery truck rolled up at around 6:00. And yes, I could chronicle another long complaint against the Maytag store, but I'm bored with it and I know ya'll are too so....

TA-DA!



ALL HAIL CHARLIE, THE KITCHEN REMODELER!


SO SEXY IT HUUUUUURRRRTS!


AND ALL HAIL MY BROTHER KRULL! WHO CAME OVER WITH HIS SAWS-ALL AND CUT A PERFECTLY STRAIGHT LINE FOR THE INSTALLERS TO PUT IN MY DOUBLE OVEN AND HELPED CHARLIE INSTALL THE MICROWAVE SLASH VENT A HOOD......



So on Wednesday, instead of getting ready for our trip to Amarillo, I sat in my chair reading Harry Potter right up until about 2:00 when I forced myself to put the book down and start packing everyone a suitcase. Charlie got home around 6:00 and he pulled out the trailer full of motorcycles and began to pack up camping gear. We had decided to drive to Canton where we would pick up John,spend the night with my Mom, and then head on to Amarillo Thursday morning. We packed suitcases, diapers, medicines, sheets, chairs, helmets, shoes and more shoes, makeup and hairdryers, pillows and stuffed animals, camera, snacks, hats, sunscreen, tools, ipod, purse, magazines, dvd's, and Harry Potter. We pulled out of the driveway just before 8:00 p.m., we circled the block and came back for the Best of The Dallas Cowboys DVD set, and we were off. 93 minutes later, Charlie spoke to my brother-in-law and realized we weren't supposed to be on vacation until NEXT week.


I'm just telling you right here and now, I'm not unpacking that suburban.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Appliances and Humor. I need both.

The appliance saga continues. I told you guys last Wednesday that the appliances were backordered for another week. Well then she called me late Friday and said "I have all three of your appliances! (Aren't I good and now you can't be pissed at me!) Could we come to install them Monday between 10:00 and 2:00?" And I said, "Why yes! You CAN come and install them between 10:00 and 2:00! (You've totally redeemed yourself and I can't wait to get off the phone and sing your praises!)

So Charlie and I kicked it into high gear this weekend and grouted (Thursday and Friday nights) and then repainted all the kitchen cabinets. (Yes! You should be totally impressed, because repainting cabinetry sucks!) First coat all day Saturday and second coat all day Sunday. Charlie sanded and first coated all the scub marks, (scubs being a technical term) and then I painted while he, reran the drain to the dishwasher because we forgot to knock out the drain plug in the new disposal and therefore the dishwasher had no place to drain. (Notice I said we, because I'm thoughtful like that!) Then he changed out the old ugly faux wood panel and shiny brass ceiling fan for the new shiny white one, reglued all the drawers that were falling apart, ran to the store to take back the handles I didn't like and get more knobs (Because I'm great at math and counting things!), and he got a new white faux wood blind and hung that, and took my half doors that have louvers that were totally scuffed and peeling and painted them outside with the fancy spray painter and then spray painted the inside and outsides of all my drawers. (Because the goobers who painted the cabinets before us only painted the outside!)

And we patted ourselves on the back some more!

Then this morning the owner of the Maytag store called to tell me that two of his installers had called in sick and he needed to reschedule for Wednesday. And that's all I have to say about that.

So I'll leave you with this little bit of Ace-humor and if you'd like to cheer me up, you can leave me a joke or a funny in my comments. Don't feel any pressure. It's not like I'm on the verge of going postal in the Maytag store or anything.

* * * *

We were getting ready to leave my Mom's a couple of weeks ago and I was in the back bedroom tidying up where the kids had been sleeping. Ace walked in put his hands on his hips and in his 3 year old Texas drawl said, "WHAT IN THE HECK ARE YOU DOING!?"

And I squinted my eyes at him and answered in my best 'You must be ridiculous!' voice, "I'm making the bed!"

And he says "HOLY SHRIMP!" and exits the room. While I stammer and laugh "HEY! You better watch you exclamatory language young man!"

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Stabbed in the Back by the Maytag Man

Today I was supposed to be posting pictures of my fab new appliances. Go ahead, take a look, I'll wait right here...


Nope, NO FAB NEW APPLIANCES! We ordered them last Wednesday.
Tuesday I called and asked for the status and the girl said "Oh, they're scheduled for delivery for tomorrow." So yesterday I got up all giddy with anticipation. I vacuumed, dusted, rearranged all the piles of stuff from my cabinets, I even moved out the refrigerator and cleaned underneath it so I wouldn't be embarrased when they moved the old one out. (And man, would I have been embarrased, evidently that's a chore that needs to be scheduled on some kind of monthly basis.) Then midmorning I started cleaning out the odds and ends and leftovers out of the fridge. When they hadn't called by noon, I stopped by to say "WHAT up?! :) " you know, in an absolutely jovial, "Love ya. Where's my Maytag Man?" sort of way. That's when she told me she was still waiting on my Ice2-O. "Huh?" Turns out, my fridge is BACKORDERED for TWO WEEKS!

TWO WEEKS? When was she gonna call and tell me THAT critical piece of information? Evidently, never. I was just gonna sit here the entire day saying things like "They must be really busy today." "They're probably waiting till the end of the day since we have three things to install." "They probably had trouble with someone else's delivery, they're just running a little late." "The rain's slowing them down, I bet." "Man, they're really cutting it close." "But it's nine o'clock, why didn't anyone call?" Or today, or the next day, or the next day, or the next day, for SEVEN MORE DAYS WHEN I'M GONE ON VACATION!!!!!@#%"!!!!!!!!!!



But I'm not bitter.




So instead of a pic of my cool new appliances, I'll let you see this one. Please excuse the tired piece of toast and my old nasty cookie sheet. I'm going to Wally today to buy two new shiny ones, because I won't sully my new oven with a rusty bottomed cookie sheet.

Our arms are SO tired from patting each other on the back! Not to mention I've got some kind of weird hip flexor/knee pain from leaning over the counter for seven hours straight and Charlie damaged something in his groin area that is somehow critical for pushing down hard enough on the brake to stop his truck. I don't think we'll ever get hired out for this kind of work, we'd have to charge $100 an hour a piece, plus we'd both end up on Workmans Comp. Tonight we've convinced ourselves that we're going to grout, (WE being the collective we as in Charlie grouting and me sitting and giving unsolicited advice.)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Never Had ONE Lesson!

Our first attempt at the tile backsplash.
Not bad for amatuers. Plus the labor is dirt cheap.
I'm in charge of artistic matters.
Charlie is in charge of Geometery, gameplan, electrical, mastic, and working the scary wet saw.

Today we start the LOOOOONG backsplash behind the sink, with three plugs and turning a corner.
Cross your fingers!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I Was Here and Now I'm Gone








I'm not sure why anyone would even be checking my blog at this point, but in the spirit of "Dear Diary"....

We've been back from Canton for almost a week now. We left to get away from the relentless rain only to find that it was relentlessly raining in Canton as well. Daddy says I'll have to go to Phoenix if I want to escape the rain. It was a nice change of scenery and we went to Bahama Mama's every day. This is one of the highlights for the kids, they love going to the Shave Ice stand, we pulled up to the window the first day and after I had determined what flavor everybody wanted I started ordering, "I need one baby Cotton Candy flat, one baby Cotton Candy, one baby Mudslide flat and one baby mudslide." As soon as I said Baby Cotton Candy, Ace started hysterical laughing in the back seat and yelling "Baby Cotton Candy! BABY Cotton Candy!" The girl craned her neck out the window and asked if everything was okay. Yep, we're easily entertained.

Charlie came for the weekend and I drug him to first Monday, where we looked at Arts and Craps and ate lot's of things on a stick. Then we drove to Forney to look at our old house, because we like to check back and see if neighborhood decay has set in. They actually had put a nice new fence around the place. Last time we went by, the fence had fallen down and they had a trailer chained to a tree. (Nice..)

We took the kids to the Tyler Zoo and it was a lot of fun, right up until we lost Ace. You know when you lose your kids for just a second in the store and second by second the panic raises just a little, because deep down inside, you know they just ducked into a clothes rack, but the panic guy inside just keeps watching the clock and raising the dial? Well I got all the way to level red when I had to go into the cafe and start the procedure for a code Adam. And why is it in a panic situation, you can never remember what your own kid is wearing, or looks like in any way, or for that matter, remember that you have a digital picture of him that you took a minute and a half ago, before he went careening away from the giraffes? I was halfway through my discription when they ran in to tell me they found him. The whole time we're walking around trying to find him, I've got Peach by the hand (because By-God, I'm not gonna loose two in one day!) and she keeps talking the whole time. Things like "Is Ace gonna be lost forever? What are we gonna do if we can't find him? Did he go in with the elephants? Are we gonna go home if we can't find him? " And as the seconds wear on, I keep telling the panic guy to "SHUTUP!", but I'm afraid that's what I'm gonna say to Peach....




















Good times.

He took a wrong turn as he was coming down the path to see the giraffes and he was just as scared as we were when we found him. He was crying and saying "Momma, I was looking for you everywhere and I couldn't find you." Heartbreaker! Don't ever tell me that kids on a leash is a bad idea, it's not. I'm just not confident enough to tell everyone to "Bugger off" if I were to use one and so I cave to the politically correct and let my kid get lost in the zoo. Politcally correct bastards!

We also went through a few model homes while we were in Forney, which we do for a hobby. But after looking at so many model homes over the last year, I came home and convinced Charlie it was time for a kitchen remodel. That was on the Friday that we got home. We went Saturday to price some things and by Sunday we were knee deep into a do it yourself countertop renovation. Here it is Thursday a week later and he just finished attaching all the counters and at midnight he is currently trying to get all my water reconected so that I can wash the week worth of dishes I have stacked in odd places all around the house. We're moving at the speed of Mount Rushmore, but Charlie will be an expert when we're done. He knows how to do all kinds of things I didn't know he knew how to do. He's in deep trouble now.


These are Before....I got so excited about ripping out the counters, that I forgot to take good before pictures.




And these are currently, note the fancy stainless backsplash behind the cooktop. Charlie got all the water running and nothing leaks! We're going to do tile backsplash behind the sink. I'm working on the pattern.....










More to come...stay tuned.
Tomorrow (I guess today), I'm meeting my Mom halfway to her house to switch Melee' for John. Each gets to spend a week at her house, so that she can share the joy that is my kids. I've had the talkers all week, it will be so nice to have Melee' back so we can enjoy a little silence together.