Like a lot of people on the planet, according to Oprah, I'm reading Ekhart Tolle's "A New Earth". When I started reading the book I thought "Me and Enlightenment, we're like this...."
I mean, people who cut me off in traffic never inspire me to road rage, I'm really quiet in the morning, and I often find beauty and majesty when I ponder trees, although I guess if I'm being truthful, I do tend to think of them as "trees". So I signed up for the online class, filled out my first workbook pages and watched the class. Then two things happened that tripped me on my spiritual journey.
First, Charlie decided that we should go out to the dirt and cover the "pad" with poly so that when the rain started again this week, the pad would be protected and they could get on with the work at hand. That doesn't surprise me about Charlie, because he's impatient. He obviously has so much farther to go on his spiritual journey than I do. But because in my own personal Handbook to Happiness, one of my many mantras is "Charlie's always right.", I loaded the boys in the suburban with him, a hammer and my rainboots and off we went to roll out three gigantic rolls of plastic wrap over the dirt so it wouldn't get wet. The problem for me came after we started taping the first two rolls of plastic wrap together and a thought occured to me that the builder is gonna drive out here tomorrow, see this gigantic 3000 sq. ft. pad covered in poly and say "What the %$#@!" Who in the hell is building this house anyway, you or me?" And I started to panic. Despite my own personal mantra, I started to question the plan outloud.
"You don't think this is gonna make Calvin really mad?"
"No. Why would it?"
"Well, he's gotta have somebody come and take all this off and then what's he gonna do with it?"
"He can call me, I'll take it off. Hell, I'll throw it away for him."
"Do you think it would have been better to call first?"
"Do you want me to call?"
"Well, I wish you had called first."
"Do you want me to call now?"
"No. Don't you think he's gonna be kind of mad at us?"
"No, why would he?"
He just can't go there. He's not a put yourself in somebody else's shoes kinda guy. I'm a bend over backwards so your not mad at me kind of girl. My ego cares what you think of me. So much so that I didn't sleep a wink last night. Even though it rained during the night, which technically makes Charlie right, I only felt marginal relief.
Then the second thing, was that I got into the car with my "always right" husband and am currently riding 85 miles an hour in the pouring rain on the way to Houston to have a follow-up foot exray and to interview moving companies for the big day. I'm having a big problem being "present" and letting my current situation be what it is. All I can think about is the moment, about a half hour from now, when I get to hike my hiney out of this red Altima bobsled. So much for living in the present. Which explains why I'm sitting in the passenger seat telling you about my past and wishing for the future. I suppose I could dig my book out of the floorboard and reread the first chapter. The first step to enlightment is awareness afterall.
