Charming Charlie

I feel like I've been picking on Charlie a bit on the daily blog, so in the spirit of equal time.

One of the things I love about Charlie is his sense of humor. He makes me laugh a lot and I find that terribly attractive. Although we did not date in High School, we were very good friends, (when I wasn't mad at him) and we had a lot of laughs. I was a very straight and narrow goody two-shoes girl and although he was never in a lot of trouble and stayed on the honor roll, he was definitely a class clown. One of my favorite memories from high school was being in Father Blum's class and sitting beside Charlie when we both got the giggles for no reason at all. You know, the kind of giggles you get when you're in Church and you know if you don't stop, you're gonna be in Big Time Trouble. Same thing. We laughed and laughed and Father got really mad at us and asked us to share what was so funny, and of course there wasn't anything funny, we just couldn't stop laughing. We both got thrown out of the class for the rest of the period. (Father married us six years later.)

Another favorite was going to Lamaze class when I was pregnant with John. I have always been REALLY shy and going to things where you have to introduce yourself and say things in front of a group makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Being first time parents, we weren't sure what to expect and the classes were very informative. Charlie, however was not prepared to have to look at plastic models of vaginas and movies about labor. During each class, he would make all these groaning noises and "Oh, gross." "Oh my god." "Ugh, did her water just break? I think I'm gonna throw-up." I kept elbowing him all through class and whispering "Shut-up!" between clenched teeth. Because the class was two hours, we had several breaks and he would go outside to smoke (sorry to front you out like that dear) . And at breaktime one evening after a particularly graphic film, there was a group of pregnant mother's who were whispering and kept glancing over at me. Finally they all walked over to me as a group and one of the girls who had been elected the "spokesperson" said, "Do you have a backup for a coach?" "Huh?" "Well, we were just wondering if you had a sister or somebody who might stand in, in case he doesn't make it." I can't remember what I said to appease their fears, but on the ride home I told Charlie that if he embarrassed me again at the next class I wasn't bringing him anymore. I was mortified. I guess the instructor was getting a little nervous about my situation as well, because at the next class, she started off by handing out sheets of paper and pencils and explaining that she wanted us to write down the three things we were most worried about concerning our delivery, that way, she could answer our questions without anyone having to know who asked the question. So there I sit with this piece of paper and I'm pondering all the things I was worried about and trying to narrow them down to the top three ... hmmmm

Well # 1 on the list is What if they don't give me my epidural when I want it?

She had made a speech early on in the class talking about how they don't just willy-nilly go giving out epidurals because you think your a little uncomfortable. You've really got to be in some serious pain before they bring out the anesthesia. Or something to that effect. So being the weenie that I am, that was my number one worry!

#2 Let's see ... okay What if they give me the epidural and it doesn't work?

So I'm a little obsessed when it comes to pain management. Hey, I was scared.

#3 Ummm, well .... epidural?covered it ... emm .. how bout ... shots?I really don't want one of those ... I.V.?man that's gonna hurt, but I don't think there's anything she can do about that .... I wonder if they can numb your arm first?no, that's dumb .... man, I can't think of anything ... OH YEA, I'm worried something will be wrong with the baby. Although, that's really not a question.

So I look over at Charlie and whisper "What have you got?" and he turns his paper so that I can see it and it's got one thing written on it.

"I'm worried I'm gonna get something on my shoe."

I have never laughed so hard in my life. I don't know how I got to the bathroom without peeing in my pants, and I'm a little surprised I didn't have that baby right then and there. I had tears running down my face and everybody was asking "What?" "What is it?"

I don't remember if we turned in our papers, but I was so relieved when I went on bedrest the next week and didn't have to go back to class. I'm sure those folks thought we were insane, here we are supposed to be writing down all our worst fears and I'm rolling around on the floor laughing like a crazy person.

Good Times.

P.S. He made it through the delivery and I only had to yell at him once, "DON'T SAY THE NUMBERS OUTLOUD!!! JUST TELL ME WHEN THEY'RE COMING DOWN!" And he's an excellent heavy breather and breathing with him was the only thing that worked for me. Four kids later and he's still standing, and if he got anything on his shoe, he was gentlemanly enough not to tell me.