I was thinking about taking the herd to see Over the Hedge today. But between reading Chris's Post yesterday and all the corresponding comments and watching a rerun of Oprah's Bird Flu episode, I'm feeling a little queasy about leaving the house. I saw the rerun on Tuesday, so yesterday when we did our big Sam's shop (and fortunately used the family bathroom), I made sure to buy a 24 pack of Brita Water Filters. Because everyone knows that the Brita Water Filtration system is one of the sure ways to decontaminate water after the entire economy plunges into total chaos, 24 hours after the first report of Bird Flu in the U.S. And we searched high and low for those darned face masks and I guess there's already been a run on them. Or even worse, all the Senators have used their connections in the drug industry to make sure they are well stocked on said face masks, leaving the masses to try to defend ourselves with bandanas. I was considering putting together an impromptu garage sale (is there any other kind?) because I might have enough hand-me-downs to raise funds for a generator. Bird flu or not, hurricane season is upon us. Plus I could use some extra cash to start stocking up on Arbonne Protein Shakes. I figure I could get through a 6 to 8 week period without ever having to go to the grocery store.
I come by it honest, my Mom is a World Class Worrier. She called me the first time Oprah's Bird Flu was on and gave me several tips on things I should be stockpiling. And when Rita came through the Houston Area last year we evacuated a day and a half before the Gov. called for it. We headed for Mom's place in North East Texas and on the day of the hurricane I went over to the local Walmart where there was pandemonium and a run on potted meats. I had just gone to pick up a loaf of bread and a bag of ice, but I got caught up in the panic and left with a basketful of Ravioli and Spagettios. Man did I have a knot in my stomach! The old people, the elbows flying, you could taste the terror in the air. (If you're not familiar, ya'll get out a map. We were in Canton.)
So I'm gonna try to stand down. Do some breathing techniques. Say a prayer. Get out the Movie Times and make sure everyone goes to the bathroom before we leave or is wearing their Depends.
2 comments:
Okay, I haven't been watching the news, OBVIOUSLY. What's going on? And why is there going to be a run at the grocery store? And why do we need face masks? what's going on, what's happening here? {i have turned into Karen from Will & grace}
Very funny and very true. My sister and I have been worrying about Bird Flu for a year now. This fall we pulled out the Dr. Sears Nutrition Book, looked up all the foods that packed the most cals/protein/vitamins per pound and wrote out a list. I have been slowly stockpiling ever since. So, no! You are not the only wacko. I am a mother lion when it comes to protecting my family. I haven't been able to find any face masks either...a possible conspiracy?
Good for you for getting everyone out of the house. Just because we prepare for the worst doesn't mean we should stop living our lives.
And, boy, my breast milk pop comment was supposed to be a joke. I blew that one.
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