Everybody can hear me. The neighbors on the next block can hear me because it's only 2:30 and I'm already yelling at the top of my lungs.
Friday we went to the Dr. for 12 to have a camp physical and since I was going anyway I took 2 and 4 for possible Pink Eye and to have the Dr. look at Ace's chronic excema. Melee' was the only one who didn't have to be there, but he was the first one to start crying because he needed to have a drink of water and would die if he didn't get one within the next 60 seconds.
At any rate, this is day 3 of the Eye Drop Standoff. If anyone has a solution for me, comment quick because we've got dose number three coming up and I might possibly kill her this time. It took my husband and I both to simultaniously hold her down and berate her till we had spilled five or ten drops in the general area of her eye, but alas none actually IN the eye. It's all fun and games at the beginning, "Come on now, this won't hurt. It's just a little cold. It doesn't sting at all. Look Ace got his drops and he didn't cry at all. You can do it. Yes, you can. You're a Big Girl. Come on now, put your hands down. Peaches, if you don't put your hands down I'm gonna have to hold em down." "But Momma, can I tell you just one more thing." *sigh* "Yes baby, one more thing" "Um, Momma.... um... um... do I have to leave my eyes closed for two minutes?" "Yes, I'm going to put in the drop and then you're going to close your eye for two minutes. Here we go." "WAIT! But Momma, But MOMMA, can I just say One more thing?" Bigger *Sigh* "ONE MORE thing Peach!" "Um... Um... Momma? Momma? Um... Are you going to hold my head again." "If you tilt up I will have to hold your head down or the drop will come right out. O.K., move you're hands now." "BUT! BUT! BUT MOMMA! WAIT!" "PEACH! That's enough already, we're putting in the drops now.!"
Screaming....wailing....squirming....thrashing....teeth gritted...yelling....drops everywhere...
"Wait a minute, you're not getting them in her eye! That's on her eyelash!"
"If she blinks they'll go in!"
"No they won't!"
"Yes they will! I wore contacts, I know about drops!"
"Give it to me!"
"Just put it in the corner of her eye, then she can blink!"
"She's supposed to leave her eyes closed for two minutes with the drop in the eye, you're just wasting them!"
"PEACHES BE STILL!"
"OWW THAT HURTS! YOU'RE HOLDING MY HEAD TOO TIGHT!"
"OPEN YOUR EYES!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All the while Ace is hitting me with something I can't totally see out of the corner of my eye, because I'm hurting his sister.
Then she's fine, like nothing ever happened. My blood pressure couldn't be any higher. My nerves are strung so tight I could jump to the moon. I leave the room, at once wanting to strangle her or run away from home because I've just tortured my child. Today I told her if she threw a fit, she couldn't play in the baby pool after nap. She said "Can I cry and not throw a fit and still play in the pool?" "Yes, you can cry, but no throwing a fit. Be still now and open your eye." "BUT MOMMA, BUT MOMMA WAIT, WAIT... CAN I JUST SAY ONE MORE THING?!"
3 comments:
I Can Hear You! And I can help you! As I have just returned from the hardware store where I purchased a fly swatter, I recommend Duct Tape. Find a flat surface, tape her down, One of you holds open an eye and the other takes aim and let's go with the drops. Works every time!
If that doesn't work, try brandy...for her. My mother swore by something called Paregoric, a codeine base drug used heavily in the 60's for everything and anything that ailed a child.
Hang in there, honey. The pink eye will soon be a memory and you will be on to something else. Bravo! Excellent post.
oohh.....sounds like you could use a drink...I'll have one with you.
Make that a double for ME too. :) Oh man, I am laughing. Not at YOU. With YOU. There is a difference. And I am only laughing because you told verbatum what happens when we try and give Connor anything for anything! :) He's such a drama QUEEN. Lordie. Trys my patience. I have no idea what to tell you about the drops. except for all the times my kids have had pink eye they only had to do the drops for like 3 days max and the pink eye was GONE. Don't know if that helps any....probably not....sorry.....I like the tape idea personally.
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