What the ....?

I'm loosing my ever lovin mind people. The last two years I've made excuses, but this is getting riciculous. I have no short term memory.

First it was hormone justification. I'd just had a baby, takes time to adjust, it'll work itself out and so on.

Second was kid justification. I've got four kids now, there's alot to remember. The baby has appts. every month. That will only last a year. Peaches is a toddler, she has alot of appts too. John's just going through an adjustment, he won't have these couseling sessions forever. It's going to get easier. It's just a matter of time.

Third was age justification. I'm forty now, a person just can't be expected to remember as much as they did when they were twenty, right?

I'm tired of people telling me it's because I have four kids. Let's think of something new.

Could it be the haircolor? I have been coloring my hair for some twenty years now. Hey, I can't help it if I inherited premature grey genes. I'm not the kind of person who would look stylish with "silver" hair. I'm already fighting the matronly look because I'm fat. I'm not giving up my haircolor. Maybe I'll sue.

Could it be the school system? Too much presure on kids to be involved in multiple activities and if you have a smart kid, they shovel them into some gifted class where the school can earn government dollars and have to justify themselves by loading the kids down with multiple projects which require four trips to the craft store, three trips to the library, and for my "add" kid, requires that I do all the physical work for him as he can't stay focused long enough to get it done. I think I'll sue.

Could it be Saturday morning cartoons and video games? I've been forced to sign up the boys for swim team because they need the excercise. The swim team committee, in turn have devised a brilliantly evil system in which I have to leave a deposit of $100 and sign up for seven "volunteer" shifts, so that if I don't show up, they get to keep my one hundred dollars. My neighbor said "It used to be only $40. I don't know why it's gone up so much." I do. I'd pay you forty bucks in a heart-beat not to have to try to remember to show up for seven shifts while trying to watch my two kids compete and keeping my two toddlers out of the baby pool as per swim team regulations. But I'm on the hook for $100, I'm in deep doo-doo. Which rhymes with sue.

I'm the girl you hated in school, because I never studied and I always got an A. I'm the person that has a home where nothing has a place, yet I can tell you the exact location of any item you'd like to put your hands on. I'm the wife who taunts her husband because he can't remember at the end of the day that I told him every day for the last three days that there is a school play tonight at 6:00. Those days are long gone. I've got a prominent family calander. I have a marker board on the fridge. I've tried carrying an organizer. I've tried not switching purses so as not to misplace the organizer. I have a mother who comes halfway across Texas every couple of months and helps me declutter and organize.

Isn't there someone I can blame (except myself)? Isn't there a pill? What about all that hogwash about the more of your brain you use, the more you have? My mind feels like a rubber band that's been stretched beyond it's limitations and is loosing it's elasticity.

What about the..

the...

What were we talking about?