Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Food Encounters of the Family Kind

For Mother's Day my family took me out to eat to a real restaurant. With cloth napkins and everything. However, the whole ambiance was ruined when the waiter brought out the plastic kid cups, shaped like crayons, but it is what it is. I've got four kids.

And I remembered why I never take them out to eat as soon as we got into the "waiting" area. Why are my kids the only ones who can't stand still? Why are my kids the ones playing with the satin pillows on the bench seats? Why are my 9 and 12 year olds acting like 2 and 4? They get consequences, they're grounded on a regular basis, time-outs-check, spankings?-yes occasionally. Yet there they are, inching closer to the desert tray trying to sniff the cakes. Then when we sit down we have to go through the argument with the 12 yr old, as to whether or not he has to order off the child's menu. ("But, what if it's not enough food?") I'm thinking about sending him to Africa for Boy Scout Camp this year. The food arrives, and the pasta starts flying. It's not like "food fight" kind of flying, more like "cavemen coming to dinner" kind of flying. About four bites into my dinner, dear daughter needs to go to the potty. We go to the restroom, where we have to discuss which potty is the cleanest, the tallest, whether or not I need to go to the potty, can I get her some tp, which is the cold water, which is the hot water, "I can reach it MYSELF!", how many paper towels is enough...back to lunch. Two more bites, she's full; standing up in the booth, trying to see what's going on at the other table, she's ready to go. Mr. 2 is slouching lower and lower down the seat until his head is even with his Dad's elbow. Mr. 9 has eaten an entire bowl of pasta without ever closing his mouth to chew and Mr. 12 has conceded that indeed the kid's meal portion was enough food. I am exhausted and my husband is wishing he had never met me.

It looks like it may be another few years before we're ready for anything other than a McRestaraunt.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have the same kids! I have even, on the rare occasion, walked out of a restaurant before we have been seated. It's 4 against 1 in my house, and I won't pay for a meal if I have to spend the whole time hissing at them. (ages 13-4). Needless to say, we don't eat out much. Someday, though! A woman needs to be able to dream.

By the way, how did you get your print to be green and larger then normal. I am so hopeless. Can't even figure out how to add a picture !
Ashley

Pollyanna said...

OHMYGAWD. We DO have the same kids. Well, I have 2 kids, but they feel like 4. Does that count???? I HATE going anywhere in them that's not 100% kid friendly because they drive me CRAZY. CRAZY I tell you. We all went grocery shopping as a family the other night and the phrase I repeated more than any other was this, "NOW I remember why I always always always go to the store alone!"

I LOVE your blog. If I can remember where you are I am so gonna come back! :) I am at school and so i can't bookmark you just yet, I have no clue how to do links, so hopefully I can just remember me. I found you on Lucinda's site by the way.