Dear Charlie,
I have a confession to make. The guy from Steam Clean came Monday and cleaned my ductwork, if you know what I mean. I've made a mistake, and I wish it didn't have to be this way. I mean, I'm not totally naive. I knew when I called that there was no way I was going to get out of the deal for $89.99, coupon or not. There was mold on the air vents, we both knew it was going to be bad, but I thought I could control myself. I thought, I'll pay a couple a hundred extra for the heavy duty sanitizer and have three rooms of carpet cleaned for "free". And when he said it was just $66.00 extra to pretreat it... well there was four years of chocolate and vomit on those carpets for god's sake! We have company coming for Thanksgiving, and the cleaning itself was free...right? The next thing I know I'm having every room in the house done, I've paid extra for scotch guard and he's got me standing at the kitchen sink cleaning my own vent covers to "save" myself $150 and he's telling me "You better show your apprectiation!" and showing me where I can add a tip.
Couldn't I just tell people you'll beat me if I say yes? It would be so much easier if I could say "Pretreat? Oh...I don't think so... (pregnant pause) They say his first wife had her carpets pretreated once. Nobody ever heard from her again. His family says she's living in Mexico....but...no I think I better not have it pretreated." Then when he starts asking questions like "So, what does your husband do? What time does he get home?" I could say "Oh, it's fight night. He usually makes it to one of the final rounds, he'll be home pretty late." and then "No, no...not boxing. Cage fights." That would save me from rearranging all three cars every night so that it looks like we're all home. I haven't slept for two nights. By the time you get home, the dog will be sleeping in your spot. Could you just, like, work from home and never go anywhere again for the rest of your life? That would sure take the pressure off.
Love you babe!
p.s. Did I mention the kids broke the window that you and your brother replaced last Thanksgiving?
Hurry home!
PPS. Melee' hit a home run tonight. You'll need two sheets of glass this year.
7 comments:
Oh, you don't know how this makes me laugh. My husband's name is even a derivative of Charles, lol, so I wouldn't even really have to switch the names for this to apply to me.
The last part about wishing he had a job that he could work from home and never have to leave again would be accompanied by some bitterness and profanity, though. So it sounds like maybe you deal with it better than I do.
This is really funny.
Maybe Charlie could go to work for the Steam Cleaner company and kill two birds with one stone?
Great post :-) Sorry you're sleeping with the dog.
Yeah, those "free" deals can be pretty expensive!
O my gosh! How true this is. So are you sleeping in the doghouse?
I'm not in the doghouse, but she's sleeping in mine. :)
Lawd. Don't send the carpet guy over here, my carpets are so filthy he could sell me EVERYTHING. New flooring even. :) Did the carpets turn out nice?
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