Jokes. 'Cause You Guys Make Me Smile

This first joke was sent to us from a friend that thought we could appreciate some house building humor....

Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time. A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them 'gems-in-the-rough', more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars 'pay' she'd received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, 'I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.' 'Oh my goodness gracious,' said the teller, 'and will you be working on the house again this week, too?' The little girl replied, 'I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fuckin' sheet rock...' Kind of brings a tear to the eye - doesn't it?

Then Sunday Father Selverage told this one at Church. Father is from India, and he likes to tell the occasional joke, sometimes they're funny, sometimes it's just funny because sometimes you can understand him and sometimes you can't...

There were three very devout members of the congregation, members of theKnights of Colombus, that died in a tragic accident. Because of their many good works they were sent straight to the gates of heaven where they met St. Peter. St. Peter was distressed because he did not have their rooms ready and he had no place for these fine men. So St. Peter called Lucifer and asked if there was any way that he could accomadate these guys for the next few days until there rooms were ready. Lucifer said "No problem." and took the men down. The next day, Lucifer showed up at the gates of heaven and said to St. Peter "You have to take these men back right away!" St Peter had a grin on his face and was very amused, "They're good men aren't they?" he said, "Have they been down there trying to spread the Gospel?" "NO!" said Lucifer, "They're playing Bingo and raising funds to air condition the place!"