OM

One of the reasons I haven't blogged as much over the last year or so is that I have a bad attitude. I keep thinking I'm going to wait it out. I just need to get adjusted to this new place, I keep telling myself. Just give it a little more time, I think, eventually I'm gonna find my spot in this weird new universe. But the longer time goes on, the more disgruntled I seem to get. I keep having these little "episodes", that yes, happen to coincide with a particular time in a woman's cycle. It feels like PMS on steroids. I admit I used to get a little grouchy every 30 days or so, but this is different, this is much bigger. And the hard thing, is that I don't see it when it shows up, it takes me a while to realize what's going on. There have been several occasions now, that have been big enough that even Charlie knows what's going on and sometimes before me.

Last month something set me off and after the second day of fuming around the house I finally had my "aha" moment and texted Charlie "Hey, do you think it's time for the craziness again?" He texted back and said "The unwritten rule in our family is that if Momma won't let Ace sit in her lap, she's gonna blow." The night before Ace had been trying to sit in the rocker with me and I kept deflecting him and finally turned to him and said "Momma needs some space right now." Not one of my proudest mothering moments. Not that there's anything wrong with a little space...and that was one of the milder episodes. There was "The Honking Bastard", and "The Great Beenie Weenie Incident" and today. I'm naming today "Bullshit Day."

Today is the first day that the kids are riding the bus home. Originally, I couldn't see putting Ace on the bus, but after four months of sitting in carpool lanes for a total of almost two hours a day, I decided (with a little nudge from "The Honking Bastard"), that maybe I could afford to let go a little. Perhaps this would give me some peace, which I'm desperately looking for. The bus beats us home everyday. I tried to warm everyone (and by everyone, I mean John) up to the idea and in one of his moments of weakness, when he was not outright screaming protest, I put the plan in place. It would start the week after Christmas break. I called the bus barn yesterday and made the arrangements. The Little's are put on the bus by teachers, the Jr. High and High School crowd are on there own. So the arrangements were made, and of course Ace and Peach are just chomping at the bit, they can't believe I have finally relented and am allowing them to ride the "magical" school bus!

So the first thing to go wrong was a note from the nurse in Peach's bag yesterday. I can't say Peach is a hypocondriac, but she does cry wolf from time to time. And there's something about this school, if they even pretend to have a fever, they call you immediately and want you to pick them up. This has happened at least two times this year. Once, they took her temperature when she came in from recess saying that she didn't feel very good. OF COURSE SHE DIDN'T FEEL GOOD, SHE WAS RUNNING AROUND IN 100 DEGREE HEAT!!!! THUS THE TEMPERATURE!!!! So then I have to pick her up, she comes home and within 10 minutes she miraculously feels better and wants to play and have my undivided attention which I am in no way prepared to give, because you just faked your way out of school and I can't send you to school tomorrow because you have to be "fever-free" for twenty-four hours before returning to school! Which means I get to replay this whole scenario of you wanting to play and watch t.v. and play computer and Momma, Momma, Momma ahhhhhhh!!! (see, this is part of the monthly thing that has me screaming inside my head with no way to turn it off) Ahem. So, as I was saying, there was a note in the bag from the nurse stating that she came to the office complaining of a sore throat with a temperature of 98 (Thank the lord it hadn't been 99 or she would have called my ass) and by the way, her tonsils looked very swollen and red. (And of course my response was required)

My response: "Wonk, wonk lady. Her brothers have all been sick with a sore throat and a cough, she's third in line, destined to have it. All my kids have large tonsils and adenoids, which make them terrific snorers in case you were wondering. No one has had a fever. I repeat no one. Please file my response where the sun don't shine. Sincerely, Her Loving Mother.

I waxed PC philosophical with her, stuck my response in the backpack. And don't get me wrong, I did my due diligence, and not even with any attitude. Was she feeling okay? Let me take your temperature again. Does your throat hurt now? Then this morning, How you feeling this morning? Is your throat hurting? Felt her head the whole nine yards. Everything was sunny side up and a Go for project Bus Ride. After I dropped them off at school I went over to Mom's (just a couple of blocks down from the elementary) and chatted with her and my Aunt and arranging for backup if the Big's miss the bus today. We had some hot chocolate, discussed day two of the "healthy eating plan" (hot chocolate not-withstanding) and I headed home to do whatever it is I do to pass the hours of the day. I had not been inside my house two minutes when the phone rang, "Mrs.? Peach's here in the office and she's got a temperature of 100.1 and we need you to come pick her up."

Yeah. I'll let you sit on that for a minute.

She lit the fuse. They wound me up yesterday and today that bitch called and lit the fuse. I'm not sure what I said, I was polite but evidently my voice was strained. I asked whether or not they could get a note to Ace's teacher as THIS WAS THE FIRST DAY THAT THEY WERE GOING TO RIDE THE BUS HOME TOGETHER AND NOW HIS SISTER WON'T BE ON THE BUS WITH HIM, COULD THEY? COULD THEY GET A NOTE DOWN THERE?????? I drove angry to the elementary school, God forbid they could have called me when I was two blocks away at my Mother's house. NOOO they had to wait till I got ALL the way back home! And don't think Charlie didn't get an ear full. Just because you're AWOL on you way to Oklahoma doesn't mean you don't get to hear a play by play of how shitty my day is and how NOW THE PRECIOUS HAS TO RIDE THE BUS HOME WITHOUT HIS SISTER!!!!! I went into the office to pick her up and no one said a word. No "Hello", no "Sorry to hear she's not feeling well.", no "If it were up to me we'd send her back to class, but that pesky ole thermometer...yuck, yuck, yuck" just silence. I signed the notebook and said "Were ya'll able to get a note to Ace's teacher so that he knows he has to ride the bus by himself?" and she says, "I don't know, did you ask whoever called you?" I am using every muscle in my entire body, every ounce of restraint I can muster not to slide over the counter and put my hands around her neck and squeeze until she can't speak any more. I said "Yes." and she turns to the other lady who's standing right there and asks if "blah blah blah?" and "Yes blah, blah blah." and I think I said "Thank you." but maybe I didn't, and walked Peach out to the car.

I've dressed her down accordingly. We had this discussion the last time she came home crying wolf. She has no temperature and as soon as we walked in the door she said "I'm hungry, can I have something to eat?" She's asked to play on the computer, she's asked to watch t.v. upstairs, she's asked me the answer to every other problem on the 14 pages of homework she brought home.

I was so upset at the elementary school staff's lack of any human decency to my concern about the Precious that I called the Jr. High instead and said "Could I get a note to my son Melee'? Today is the first day that my kids are riding the bus home and I had to go pick up his little sister at the elementary because she's sick and I'm afraid he might be worried when she's not on the bus." "Oh! Certainly!" She said, with just the right amount of care and compassion. She's the only reason I'm not putting a for sale sign out in my front yard today.