Ace has decided his name is Jr. McJr.
No, I have not been letting him watch Gray's Anatomy. But I do think he's sunkin special.
I'll be crying on the day he starts saying something instead of sunkin.
I keep telling the boys to stop correcting him.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Poop Debris
We've been without the use of our second upstairs bathtub for quite some time now. It started out to be a problem while taking a bath. You see, when I would drain the tub after the kids bath, there would be a little water trickle out of the air conditioning vent downstairs above the kitchen table. So we started tubbing the Littles in our bathroom and the boys still showered in theirs. It then progressed to a steady dripping of water during showers out of the vent and the nearby light fixture until finally, if you turned on the water, it seemed to be directly connected to the air vent/ light fixture in a water fountain sort of way. Bathtub closed for business. Until such time as Charlie could fit it into his schedule to "have a look at". Days became weeks and weeks started to stretch until one day as my washing machine hit the drain cycle, water started pouring out from under my downstairs toilet. I could not for the life of me figure out why the water in my washer was coming out from under the toilet. That is, until each one of the kids had gone into each of the three bathrooms and pooped in the three toilets.
That kind of thing never happens early in the day. No, it happens late in the evening after all the plumbers have gone home for the evening. I put a call into the answering service and they promised to put us at the top of the list for the following day. I'm not sure where I was the next day, but Charlie was home to meet the plumbers and we decided to let the plumbers have a look at the bathtub leak as well.
Six hundred dollars later, I had three working toilets, a draining washer, a newly caulked bathtub faucet and a clean out installed in the middle of my brick sidewalk in the backyard, with all the bricks laying hither, dither in my flower bed. I was relieved and angry at the same time. "You mean to tell me, that they think caulking around the faucet is going to stop the bathtub from leaking through to the air vent? What took so long? What do you mean they charged a hundred and fifty dollars to find the drain? Why did they put it in the middle of the sidewalk?" He explained it all away in the logical way guys do and I continued to bitch the way girls do.
Sure enough, two days later when we were given the green light to try the tub, it was a no-go. So Charlie climbed up on the table, cut open the ceiling and "had a look at it". It seems that some six hundred dollar plumber had stuck the brass fitting coming out of the tub, into a larger piece of PVC without really attaching or sealing it in any way. So off to the Ace Hardware he went and procured the proper fitting needed to fix the problem and did a very nice job, if I may say so. However, when we tried the tub, we still had a very small leak that we could not figure out where it was coming from. It had been a long day and the next day it rained, so it wouldn't have been good for putting up drywall anyway, so we put it off till the next weekend and before we knew it, Charlie had a broken clavicle and could not finish the job.
Which brings us to yesterday. Late in the evening, after dinner but before my Boy Scout Meeting, I threw the kids sheets in the washer and went upstairs to get ready. Then Charlie was yelling and when I got downstairs, the utility was flooded, from water coming out from under the toilet.
(Insert the string of curse words of your choice.)
So we got out my electric floor mop and started sucking up and dumping the wash water three cups at a time out the back door. Since I was running late, Melee' and Charlie took over the chore and John and I went on to our meeting. As we drove back into the driveway an hour later, I thought, "Strange, the driveway looks as wet as when we left." And the thought had not cleared my left ear when I see Charlie slinging another three cups out the back door.
"What's going on?"
"WATCH OUT, DON'T STEP IN ANY OF THAT, IT'S POOP WATER."
"What?"
"Ace evidently went upstairs and pooped in our toilet and has been flushing the toilet for the last ten minutes."
(Insert the string of curse words of your choice!)
At 8:00 last night I put in a call to the plumbers answering service where they assured me we would be the first stop of the day. Man, I couldn't wait till they got here. I was gonna give them a piece of my mind! What nerve they had! Six hundred dollars and I had not one thing to show for it. Except a hole in my kitchen ceiling and poop debris behind my downstairs toilet!
They got here around 9:00 this morning and before I had time to give them a piece of my mind, they pulled out a half a roll of paper towels out of the clean out drain. A hundred and fifty seven dollars later, I'm on my hands and knees cleaning up poop debris and composing a want ad in my head for a three year old.
That kind of thing never happens early in the day. No, it happens late in the evening after all the plumbers have gone home for the evening. I put a call into the answering service and they promised to put us at the top of the list for the following day. I'm not sure where I was the next day, but Charlie was home to meet the plumbers and we decided to let the plumbers have a look at the bathtub leak as well.
Six hundred dollars later, I had three working toilets, a draining washer, a newly caulked bathtub faucet and a clean out installed in the middle of my brick sidewalk in the backyard, with all the bricks laying hither, dither in my flower bed. I was relieved and angry at the same time. "You mean to tell me, that they think caulking around the faucet is going to stop the bathtub from leaking through to the air vent? What took so long? What do you mean they charged a hundred and fifty dollars to find the drain? Why did they put it in the middle of the sidewalk?" He explained it all away in the logical way guys do and I continued to bitch the way girls do.
Sure enough, two days later when we were given the green light to try the tub, it was a no-go. So Charlie climbed up on the table, cut open the ceiling and "had a look at it". It seems that some six hundred dollar plumber had stuck the brass fitting coming out of the tub, into a larger piece of PVC without really attaching or sealing it in any way. So off to the Ace Hardware he went and procured the proper fitting needed to fix the problem and did a very nice job, if I may say so. However, when we tried the tub, we still had a very small leak that we could not figure out where it was coming from. It had been a long day and the next day it rained, so it wouldn't have been good for putting up drywall anyway, so we put it off till the next weekend and before we knew it, Charlie had a broken clavicle and could not finish the job.
Which brings us to yesterday. Late in the evening, after dinner but before my Boy Scout Meeting, I threw the kids sheets in the washer and went upstairs to get ready. Then Charlie was yelling and when I got downstairs, the utility was flooded, from water coming out from under the toilet.
So we got out my electric floor mop and started sucking up and dumping the wash water three cups at a time out the back door. Since I was running late, Melee' and Charlie took over the chore and John and I went on to our meeting. As we drove back into the driveway an hour later, I thought, "Strange, the driveway looks as wet as when we left." And the thought had not cleared my left ear when I see Charlie slinging another three cups out the back door.
"What's going on?"
"WATCH OUT, DON'T STEP IN ANY OF THAT, IT'S POOP WATER."
"What?"
"Ace evidently went upstairs and pooped in our toilet and has been flushing the toilet for the last ten minutes."
At 8:00 last night I put in a call to the plumbers answering service where they assured me we would be the first stop of the day. Man, I couldn't wait till they got here. I was gonna give them a piece of my mind! What nerve they had! Six hundred dollars and I had not one thing to show for it. Except a hole in my kitchen ceiling and poop debris behind my downstairs toilet!
They got here around 9:00 this morning and before I had time to give them a piece of my mind, they pulled out a half a roll of paper towels out of the clean out drain. A hundred and fifty seven dollars later, I'm on my hands and knees cleaning up poop debris and composing a want ad in my head for a three year old.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Lucky 13
Friday the 13th was my 16th Anniversary. My husband reminded me that I forgot our Anniversary last year. I'll never live that one down. Not that we didn't celebrate, but these last few years, I rarely know what day of the week it is. My brother and sister-in-law kept all four of the kids overnight, so we went out to dinner and a movie. We ate at P.F. Chang's despite my "diet" and it was delicious! I got online and looked at the menu, and I realized I won't be eating there too often. After agonizing over my choices I settled on the Ginger Chicken and steamed Broccoli and we shared an order of Crab Wontons (worth every one of the 26 grams of fat, or 13 grams since we split them), then I analyzed the drink menu and the desert menu and decided to forgo both in favor of popcorn with a little butter on it. We saw Blades of Glory, because we're romantic like that. It was actually the second time for me to see it. Two thumbs up if you like dumb movies. I'll be singing "My Humps" for weeks.
Me and Charlie, back when we both had lots of hair. I'm laughing because my brother just dumped his handful of birdseed down the cleavage of my dress. Good times. It actually was the most beautiful day for mid-April in Amarillo Texas. They had snow on Easter this year. This was one of the best pictures, we took so many posed pics, that by the end of them I look surprised in all of them because I'm holding up my eyebrows while I'm trying to smile. Paris Hilton, I'm not. It's also one of the only pictures that you can't tell that Charlie has a mullet. (Ha! Ha!!) I loved his hair like that! Wouldn't let him cut it.
I was on the computer Friday when Charlie got home from work, and this is what I hear from the living room.
Ace yells "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!"
Then "DADDY'S HOME WITH FLOWERS!"
I got flowers, M & M's, two cards and a FOR SALE SIGN for the motorcycle. We'll see.
You can't see the M & M's because I already ate them, with a little help from my friends. He got two cards and a Chuck Norris T-shirt.
We're cheap dates, but we decided it didn't matter since we both hit the jackpot when we got married. :)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
I Punched a Squirrel Because that's the Way I Play
I punched a Squirrel because that's the way I play. It makes me sound tough, doesn't it? :)
Another meme courtesy of Yerdoingitwrong. This one made me laugh outloud. It originally came from this blog. Pick the month you were born. Pick the day (number) you were born. Pick the color of shirt you are wearing. Now type out the sentence you made using the answers below:Pick the month you were born:
January----------I kicked
February--------I loved
March------------I punched
April---------------I swam with
May---------------I choked on
June---------------I murdered
July---------------- I did the Macarena with
August-----------I had lunch with
September------I danced with
October----------I sang to
November-------I yelled at
December-------I ran over
Pick the day ( number) you were born on:
1----- --a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a flamingo
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10------my neighbor
11------my science teacher
12------a banana
13------a fireman
14------a stuffed animal
15------a goat
16------a pickle
17------a squirrel
18------a spoon
19------myself
20------a baseball bat
21------a ninja
22------a snowman
23------a noodle
24-- ----your mom
25------a football player
26------my sister
27------my brother
28------an ipod
29------a permanent marker
30------a llama
31------a zombiePick
the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm very pretty.
Black----------because that's how I play.
Pink------------because I'm cool like that.
Red-------------because the voices told me to.
Blue------------because I can see the future.
Green----------because I love to boogie.
Purple----------because your mom's cool.
Gray------------because the voices in my head told me to.
Yellow---------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange---------because I tripped over my house.
Brown----------because I love my pillow.
Other-----------because I'm a ninja.
None-----------because I cant control myself.
I kindly demand that you all play along. Because Annie said so. And then let me know if you did!
Another meme courtesy of Yerdoingitwrong. This one made me laugh outloud. It originally came from this blog. Pick the month you were born. Pick the day (number) you were born. Pick the color of shirt you are wearing. Now type out the sentence you made using the answers below:Pick the month you were born:
January----------I kicked
February--------I loved
March------------I punched
April---------------I swam with
May---------------I choked on
June---------------I murdered
July---------------- I did the Macarena with
August-----------I had lunch with
September------I danced with
October----------I sang to
November-------I yelled at
December-------I ran over
Pick the day ( number) you were born on:
1----- --a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a Mexican
6-------a flamingo
7-------my cell phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10------my neighbor
11------my science teacher
12------a banana
13------a fireman
14------a stuffed animal
15------a goat
16------a pickle
17------a squirrel
18------a spoon
19------myself
20------a baseball bat
21------a ninja
22------a snowman
23------a noodle
24-- ----your mom
25------a football player
26------my sister
27------my brother
28------an ipod
29------a permanent marker
30------a llama
31------a zombiePick
the color of shirt you are wearing:
White----------because I'm very pretty.
Black----------because that's how I play.
Pink------------because I'm cool like that.
Red-------------because the voices told me to.
Blue------------because I can see the future.
Green----------because I love to boogie.
Purple----------because your mom's cool.
Gray------------because the voices in my head told me to.
Yellow---------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange---------because I tripped over my house.
Brown----------because I love my pillow.
Other-----------because I'm a ninja.
None-----------because I cant control myself.
I kindly demand that you all play along. Because Annie said so. And then let me know if you did!
Monday, April 09, 2007
Ameme.
A meme courtesy of Annie... (Happy Blogiversary!)
1. What is your favorite kind of milkshake?
Chocolate! Is there any other kind?
2. What is your fantasy job?
My husband's. Only with pay equal to the amount that let's me shop at Target anytime I want and be able to afford a Merry Maid.
3. Do you consider yourself a "neat freak" or can you handle a little mess?
I am definitely NOT a neat freak, thus my need for a Merry Maid. I do get stressed out about the mess.
4. What are your thoughts about tattoos?
I thought I'd like to have one, but my husband says he'd divorce me. Then again, how's a tatoo gonna look when I get old and wrinkly?
5. Where would you go on your fantasy vacation? Who would you want to be with you?
Hawaii! Johnny Depp, I mean my cute husband!
1. What is your favorite kind of milkshake?
Chocolate! Is there any other kind?
2. What is your fantasy job?
My husband's. Only with pay equal to the amount that let's me shop at Target anytime I want and be able to afford a Merry Maid.
3. Do you consider yourself a "neat freak" or can you handle a little mess?
I am definitely NOT a neat freak, thus my need for a Merry Maid. I do get stressed out about the mess.
4. What are your thoughts about tattoos?
I thought I'd like to have one, but my husband says he'd divorce me. Then again, how's a tatoo gonna look when I get old and wrinkly?
5. Where would you go on your fantasy vacation? Who would you want to be with you?
Hawaii! Johnny Depp, I mean my cute husband!
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
What is NORMAL, anyway?
And here you were, thinking I was on a roll... I was, until Evil Knievel showed up.
I've decided that despite the fact that my better half would like me not to recount this story (and by better, I mean he better get a grip!), it's a story that must be told. Because the half of you that are coming this week, are going to find out anyway. And if I had to tell MY mother, well I'm outing him....
Evil Knievel had a small mishap on the new, shiny, red bike on Friday before last. Turns out that when you hit a curb, the bike will stop and chances are, you will not. So after consulting the Orthopedist last Monday, we are on the way to the surgery center today so that they can install a metal plate and some screws to put back together his clavicle. Because right now, he's got one shoulder and one slump. Oh it's gotten somewhat better over the last week, but we're only forty-one and I'm really not wanting to spend the next forty with Igor. Plus, who's going to do all my overhead work, like changing out my ceiling fans and light bulbs I can't reach. I think the clavicle is something that must be repaired! Don't you? He hasn't put up much of a fight, but he's getting a little nervous this morning.
And, no Daddy, he hasn't gone down and gotten a For Sale sign for it yet. And, yes, I'll go down and get one today and make sure I put it on his bed tray after he gets home. I'll bet Evil Knievel was divorced.
Post Script...
Surgery was Tuesday. He was still a little sensitive about me posting about it, but now that he's had the surgery and all is well, I got the green light. The surgery went great, a little too great if you ask me. I wanted him to have enough pain that he had to pause before he got on that bike again, unfortunately, he's been relatively pain free. After the follow up appointment he said maybe he should be a stuntman when he grows up. We got a nice flower basket from some of the guys at corporate where he works, the card read "I told you so, you moron."
I've decided that despite the fact that my better half would like me not to recount this story (and by better, I mean he better get a grip!), it's a story that must be told. Because the half of you that are coming this week, are going to find out anyway. And if I had to tell MY mother, well I'm outing him....
Evil Knievel had a small mishap on the new, shiny, red bike on Friday before last. Turns out that when you hit a curb, the bike will stop and chances are, you will not. So after consulting the Orthopedist last Monday, we are on the way to the surgery center today so that they can install a metal plate and some screws to put back together his clavicle. Because right now, he's got one shoulder and one slump. Oh it's gotten somewhat better over the last week, but we're only forty-one and I'm really not wanting to spend the next forty with Igor. Plus, who's going to do all my overhead work, like changing out my ceiling fans and light bulbs I can't reach. I think the clavicle is something that must be repaired! Don't you? He hasn't put up much of a fight, but he's getting a little nervous this morning.
And, no Daddy, he hasn't gone down and gotten a For Sale sign for it yet. And, yes, I'll go down and get one today and make sure I put it on his bed tray after he gets home. I'll bet Evil Knievel was divorced.
Post Script...
Surgery was Tuesday. He was still a little sensitive about me posting about it, but now that he's had the surgery and all is well, I got the green light. The surgery went great, a little too great if you ask me. I wanted him to have enough pain that he had to pause before he got on that bike again, unfortunately, he's been relatively pain free. After the follow up appointment he said maybe he should be a stuntman when he grows up. We got a nice flower basket from some of the guys at corporate where he works, the card read "I told you so, you moron."
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