It's hard to admit you're becoming middle age. I thought I was going to see it coming. I knew something was up because sometimes when I'm shopping in Lane Bryant I think "I'm too old to be buying this sparkly crap!", then I go next door to Catherine's and say "Oh my God! Is that seersucker capri-pants with an elastic waistband?! I'm too young to wear that!"
And then one morning you wake up and your husband has a new shiny red Kawasaki ZX-1430958 in the garage and you've just hired a young, cute personal trainer at the gym and you realize "WE'RE HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISIS!"
And every time he tells me how fast that dang motorcycle goes, I tell him how many push-ups I did that day. I haven't told him yet that my trainer is so short, I could put him in my pocket. Gotta keep him on his toes. I don't want him picking up any drunk women at the Plantersville Chevron who want to go for a ride on the bike. Plus it might keep those Valentine flowers showing up year-round! I think it really irritates him that my trainers name is Charlie too. It really irritates me when he pulls up videos on You-tube of smart-a** showoffs, videoing themselves riding those mortorcycles at ridiculous speeds, while weaving in and out of traffic. The plus side is that I've lost eleven pounds and if he brings home any drunk women from Plantersville, I'll be able to kick their butt!
6 comments:
YAY Girl!!! Good for you on the weight loss. I think I found the 11 lbs. that you lost. =(
11 lbs, HOLY CRAP~that is awesome.
I know what you mean about the the clothes and feeling like you are in no man's land. I just had that experience shopping with Candace this last week. It seems like I either seen teenage clothes or old lady clothes but nothing that's appropriate for a almost 37-year-old who is carrying around a lot of extra weight. UGH. I bought 2 t-shirts and that was it. I had the exact same problem while looking at shoes. It's about time somebody designed some clothes for US, huh?
Hilarious. And good for you - 11 pounds!!! WOW!
in the "it could be worse" category. My husband I think had his mid life crisis at 30. He went out and got his tounge pierced. Yuck, I told him if I had wanted to marry a freak, I would have picked one of my ex boyfriends. Thank goodness he grew tired of it after a couple months.
Oh my gosh this is so funny! I hired a trainer after I had my last babe and my hsuband got so jealous (you know because women with three kids are in such high demand on the singel's circuit-- I was bound to run off with Julio the muscle guy).
Anyway I hope your training works out for you. Sounds like it is. It worked for me-- though now I need, I really, really need to go back before my breasts meet my knees and my butt drags the grounds (oh there is a strong possibility unless intervention comes soon-- darn Girl Scout cookies)
Amen Bonnie! I told Charlie that if he crashes that motorcycle, he better not die, because I'll kill him!
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