Exercise in Futility

"I've got a plan." she says. "When I get there, we'll start doing our walkies. We'll get everybody up at 6:00, load up the little ones in the stroller and then everybody will get their exercise and nobody will be late to school."

"Okay Mom, sounds good. I'll wait till you get here so you can tell them all about it."

Day One:

Out of bed we all stumble, groggy and somewhat disagreeable. Dressed, we go out and after a short fight over who will be the holder of the flashlight, we air up the tires on the stroller and off we go.

"John. Quit swinging that flashlight all around. Just point it down on the ground so cars can see us."

More quiet walking, John moves out front hoping to be out of reach of further instructions. Nan matches his pace and offers up lots of optimistic encouragement. "You guys are doing great! Swing those arms now! Get that heart rate up!"
"JOHN. DON'T FLASH THAT RIGHT IN THE EYES OF THE ONCOMING CARS! Melee"! Hurry up, you're falling behind and it's dark, I can't even see you."

The whining begins.

"You're going too fast.. I'm thirsty.. I'm tired.. "
"Here hold on to this stroller strap. You need to stay up with us."
"You're going too fast."
"Melee'! Come on now, you play baseball three days a week and have p.e. at school, you're in better shape than me!"
"It's too early."
"Come ON! Keep walking, that's not a ski rope, I can't pull you."

We let Ace loose for the sprint up the street, where he jogs while I try to keep up with him, pushing Peach as they giggle for the next twelve houses, until some grouchy older brother turns and yells, "I beat you, I beat you." and Ace starts screaming at the top of his lungs, prompting neighbors to peek out their windows to see who is murdering my child.

Day Two:

5:55 a.m. I'm up getting two toddlers dressed and there is much dissension in the ranks. By the time we get out the door, John is so mad he's setting the walking pace at an unattainable level for the rest of us. Melee' has brought his own water bottle and a CD player but his humor has not improved. The Peach has been outfitted with tunes so that she and Ace will quit elbowing each other for forty minutes. We're walking in a long caravan around the circle that winds around our neighborhood. As we drift toward the three-quarter mark and round a parked car, a car comes down the road and gives a quick honk, I wave a big friendly Hi-Ho and Melee' says "Who's that?" "I think it was Miss Chase." John yells back over his shoulder "NO it wasn't!" "Well, we'll see if her car's there when we get home." We turn the corner to go up our street and as per the plan, we let the littles out of the stroller so they can join in on the exercise. Ace jogs the whole way home, on the center stripe of the street, falling only twice. We get home and sure enough Miss Chase's car is in the driveway. "Hmm" I puzzled, "do you think that car honked at us because they didn't see us?" "DUH MOM!" John answers.

Day Three:

Peel four sleepy grumpy kids out of bed by 6:15. I decide that if Melee' will ride his Razor scooter we'll call it exercise anyway. There's less talk, and less drag, they are excited we have the weekend off. I realize while walking behind Ace that he looks like a penguin when he runs. A really cute penguin.

Day Four:

Monday the holiday. We decide to leave the grumpy pre-teens home and go at a more reasonable 7:00. We have a totally enjoyable 40 minutes. Turn the corner for home, let the toddlers out of their buckles, Ace hits the pavement running and falls down after five paces and busts open his knee, because his mother forgot to put on his long pants. I rescue him and put him back in the stroller, right about the time two big labs accost us out of nowhere. Peach is screaming, Nana's panicking (wondering why I threw away that "Worst Case Scenario" board game) and the Chocolate Lab has Ace's foot in his mouth. In a playful kind of way, not a rabid dog kind of way. Nana takes over the stroller while I try to wrangle the dogs as she yells "PEACH, just keep walking. Quit turning around! No crying! No screaming!" I corralled the dogs in my back yard, where they remain.

Day Five:

Light sticks.

One broke before we got outside.

It was Melee's.

The second stick broke right as Ace starts his run for the house.


Full steam ahead....












loosing steam fast.....












taking a break on the curb....









view of a boy pushed to his limits, pulling on his Momma's leg beseeching her, "Hold me Momma, hold me."


Imagine the calories I've burned just writing this down.....