Because it's MLK Day...

My kids have a dream, that one day their mother will judge them not by their whiny, screaming, tattletale behavior, but by the way they look while they're sleeping...

in the meantime, she will send them outside till their Dad gets home, hide in the bathtub and watch episode's of Wipeout on ABC.com.

Now if I Could Just Stop Eating ...

Got this from my Super Cool Friend Annie, whom you can't read without an invite. That makes her a Bette. :)

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!

You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure



• * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this



• * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit



• * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally



• * Ask me questions to help me get clear



• * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery



• * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings



• * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation



• * Let me know you like what I've done or said



• * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life

What I Like About Being an Audrey

• * being nonjudgmental and accepting



• * caring for and being concerned about others



• * being able to relax and have a good time



• * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around



• * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator



• * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now



• * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being an Audrey

• * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive



• * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline



• * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally



• * being confused about what I really want



• * caring too much about what others will think of me



• * not being listened to or taken seriously

Audreys as Children Often

• * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant



• * tune out a lot, especially when others argue



• * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Audreys as Parents

• * are supportive, kind, and warm



• * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Dear Faithful Readers,

I got a site meter report today that said 15 of you suckers are still checking to see if I'm breathing....

( pause )

Yep. Still breathing.

For the life of me, I can't think of a thing to say. Did you have a Happy New Year? Ours was awful. I try every year to put together a little lame New Year's Eve "party" together for the kids and I was having a horrible grouchy day. I made lot's of appetizers but the kids made me mad about something (I can't even remember what) and I yelled at them till they didn't want to party anymore. I made them some Mock Perseco Punch, Charlie and I had one glass of the real thing and I got so sleepy I think I went to bed around 10:00, right after I put the Little's to bed.

We went to my brother's for the first week of the Christmas holiday and we spent some time with them and tried to say hello to all our friends. It just made us homesick for Houston. Then when we left there was a dog tragedy at his house that's too sad to talk about.

We had a good Christmas and it was the first year out of the last three, that Ace didn't cross his arms and pout when he saw what he got for Christmas. And since that was my one and only goal, I can say Christmas was a success! I got all four of the kids these hilarious footed pajamas- hilarious because they came in sizes for the big boys too. But I swore an oath to the fifteen year old that I would not show a picture of them in their pj's on the blog. That's the only way I could get him to put them on. It was totally worth it. Remind me to post it when he moves out of the house. It's actually really cute and charming, but when you're fifteen evidently everything your mother says is stupid and annoying. That is, unless she's talking about a driver's permit or at least didn't spit on you when you said the word's "driver's permit" in her presence.

Teenagers suck.

I can say that because I know he's saying the same thing about me. I know I suck. I make him get up. I make him get up on time. I make him get up on time and sometimes comb his hair. Every once in a while I have the audacity to suggest he might want his jacket because it's cold outside. Frankly, I don't know how he lives with me. I say things like, "Do you have any homework today?" and "Don't you think you should get out that clarinet once in a while." I'm a total bitch.

Now the five year old. I'd like to be able to stick him in my pocket and take him everywhere I go. And most days he thinks he can fit. I try to remember that the fifteen year old was five once, and that I didn't want to let him go to school, and that I cried all the way home on the first day. But the only thing I can think about is that I'm scared that they all suck when they turn fifteen and I know that they will, because when I was fifteen I perfected the half-eyed stare, with an occasional eye-roll thrown in for good measure. They come by it honest, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

Melee' got a DS for Christmas and it came with the game, Brain Age. It is the most fun! We all fight over the dang thing. Charlie rules at the fast math game, but I can remember words like nobody's business! And although he has the top scores on most of the games, I'm really good at counting stick people as they run in and out of the little house. I'm even playing Sudoku, which I would never even try to understand before, because it looks too much like math.

Math sucks.

It's Official

The Dallas Cowboys SUCK!

Would anyone like to take odds on how long before Phillips is fired?

Merry Christmas Ya'll

Tree Farm...

The Tree has found a home...



Everybody takes a turn cutting on the tree....

wandering up and down the isles...

totally jazzed...

estimated value of the boy - approx. $31.50

This poor kid next to Ace is a goner.Stomach flu? What's stomach flu?

Charlie is the next in line for the Roto-virus, Happy Birthday Honey!

It's Beginning to Look Alot Like Christmas!

We started off the day with a little Christmas miracle. That's right, I have a brand new washing machine in my laundry room today! After 10 weeks of waiting and negotiating, Maytag had agreed to let me choose a new washer, Whirlpool or Maytag brand and receive 67% off. I poured over the two websites, I studied Consumer Reports, and Consumer Affair Hot lines. Since I was actually having to pay for a third of the washer, I decided I couldn't gamble, so I got a regular boring super capacity Whirlpool washer. I have never been happier to be doing laundry in my whole life!



The washer got here first thing this morning, Charlie went and got some Whataburger for our breakfast. After doing two quick loads of laundry, he and I went over to Walmart to pick up some groceries for the day. We got home, rounded up the kids and went over to the Christmas Tree Farm.

They griped and complained and made each other cry, then when we got to the farm, they griped and complained and fought over the tree selection. We finished up with each one drinking a soda and having some popcorn. It was getting late and we had to rush home to get ready to take Ace to a birthday party at two.

(I snapped this shot of Ace in the middle seat with the Christmas tree on top of his head.)

He was dragging, which was odd after a week worth of countdown to Joe Bob's birthday party. We loaded up, headed to the party. When we got there, he went straight to the back where the kids were jumping on the trampoline. After that, we went in and had Spiderman cake and ice cream and then went on a hay ride. It was SO windy and starting to get pretty cold, so after the pinata, we loaded up and headed to Sonic for something to eat. It was four o'clock in the afternoon and we hadn't had anything since breakfast and we still had to go to Melee's basketball game at 4:30 and John was getting ready to be in the Christmas parade at 6:00. By the time we got to Sonic, Ace was complaining about not feeling good. I assumed he was car sick, as usual, and continued to order us something to eat. By the time the food got there, it was clear he REALLY didn't feel good. Luckily, I had an old towel in the car, so I put it in his lap and told him we were going home. Before I was able to get out of the parking lot, he hurled. Red Spiderman Cake hurl. I called Charlie and told him we wouldn't be making it to the game or the parade, and he and I passed each other on the road. I got Ace home, still assuming he was sick from the ride and sugar intake. I made him wait till I helped him out of the car to minimize the carnage, and when I got him out of the car, he stumbled out like a miniature drunk guy and collapsed in the yard and spewed again.

In the meantime, Peach was whining and complaining about basketball games and Charlie decided he would have the best chance at actually seeing the game if he brought her home and left her with me. He dropped off Melee', then John. By the time he got home I had Ace in his pajamas on the couch and was cleaning out his car. Now it smells like cigars AND vomit. (he used vanilla air freshener which smells like cigars to me.) Peach acted like she didn't feel good, so I put her in pajamas and put her in a chair and turned on Spongebob. I went up to the attic to try to find the Christmas tree stand. By the time I made it down, Ace had hurled again. It was about 5:30. He blew chunks a couple more times and then it took a turn for the worse.

Because it's been so long since I've had any diapers in the house, he's been wearing maxi-pads since about 7:00. It's wrong I know, but after two clean-ups, I had to get creative. The roto-virus has come to my house. I haven't had to take care of anybody that sick in a long time. And can I just say that my washer came JUST in the St. Nick of time!

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

It's 9:00 and I'm already in bed. What sent me so early? Well, besides the fact that I feel chronically sleep deprived, the fire in the fireplace tonight, has filled the front of the house with that campfire smell I so love, and Charlie is watching a rerun of a Dallas Cowboy's football game from the 80's. You got to give the NFL credit for dreaming up their own network. And in direct contrast, Oxygen (Oprah's Network) has reruns of Tyra Banks, Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, and Bad Girls Club. WHAT THE HELL OPRAH?!

Mom and I made a trek into "The Big City" today and you'd think we'd never been to town before.
"OH! While we're here, let's go to Sam's!"
"Okay, and OH! we could stop by Tuesday Morning!"
"OOO that's on the way to Target isn't it?!"
"But Macy's is having a BIG sale today!"

We barely got past Sam's, and we didn't even do the food side of Sam's. Nope, not one food sample eaten. We're definitely going back next week. Oh, and did I get any Christmas shopping done? Just a little. Christmas is so hard. "One for you...one for me...one for him...two for me...one for her....oh and I've got to have one of those..." Merry Christmas to me. I got a new pair of slippers, a new blanket for the bed and a pair of Cuddle Duds long underwear. Did I mention I've kept the thermostat at 67 degrees and I'm freezing my ass off? The best part of the trip is my Mom cussing at other drivers. I laughed so hard, it was a good thing I wasn't the one driving. There is nothing funnier than your sixty-something year old mom, threatening to flip the bird out both windows simultaneously, while trying to maintain her preferred lane. We were only 5 minutes late picking up Ace from Mother's Day Out.

Yes, I'm Still Here.

Man, am I Full!

Turkey, check.

Dressing, check.

Gravy, check.

Potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, check, check, check.

May I just suggest that you hug the person who put her arm up the turkey to pull out the gross stuff, so you didn't have to.

*shudder*It's almost enough to turn a person vegetarian.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll!

How?

How did the pilgrims and indians celebrate the first Thanksgiving?

With chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, dummies!

And while we're learning things, I can teach you this...that just like jelly toast, deviled eggs land face down. Face down on the only decent pair of fashion shoes that you own. Because toddlers like to share their deviled eggs.

Shaking My Fist. In a Really Polite and Ladylike Fashion.

Dear Editor,

In response to ***'s letter, I think Miss ****'s letter does a disservice to the unity that she seeks. I have a child in the band, one who plays football and two who are "undeclared" in their areas of interest and I support all their endeavors, as I know all parents do.

One of the things I admire about Canton is that they do care about so many things in which the kids participate, whether that be football, cross-country, FFA, drama or the band.

I take issue with the characterization that the band lacks team spirit. I see them playing their hearts out, jumping up and down and screaming from my vantage point in the concession stand. You see, most band parents who work in the concession stand to serve food to fans, don't get to see the fruit of their kids' hard work week in and week out as they take the field at half-time. There are not many Saturdays that the kids are not hoarse from screaming their lungs out at these games. We also get to see the disappointment they feel when their team loses as well as their joy when they win.

I can see that there may be football fans who share her view, and while I can't speak to why tailgating is not allowed, I would be surprised if it was to force anyone to eat the band's two dollar hot dogs and drinks. And I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for their support of the concession stand as I was lucky enough to see how the money was spent on the kids' trip to State, in San Antonio.

You see, we're just proud parents. Whether our kids play quarterback, the clarinet, or receive an award for keeping their hands to themselves in the hallway for the first time, I'd like to suggest that we do support all Eagles. The American part is that we get to choose how we support them.

Eagle Fan,
Me

The Letter of the First Part

Dear Editor,

I hate to bring up the loss, but did anyone notice after the Eagles(us) fell to the *Tigers, the Tiger football players, and band and all the Tiger fans stayed on "our" football field and celebrated their victory!

While at the time, it was like "salt in the wound", I was struck by the way the Tiger Band supported their football team. Their band played music on the field while the Tigers and their fans celebrated!

There is no disputing that the Eagle Band is awesome; however, somewhere along the way, have we forgotten why they are out there on Friday nights? Let's face it, the music sets the mood for the fans. I'd much rather hear a "fight song" or a "spirit song" when our team is trying to hold their opponent on fourth down. After all, it is "Friday night football", isn't it?
That is why we have a band and cheerleaders-to support the team and get the crowd pumped up!

When football season is over, I am sure the band could sell season tickets for concerts concerts on the football field, but during Friday night football games, the band should be there to support the football team.

The students in the band and the football players on the field all work hard to be the best at what they do. What would Friday night football be without our football team, the band and the cheerleaders? It is a night for all three to shine.

Not to mention that Canton football fans are not allowed to have tailgate parties in our own parking lot prior to football games because it would take money from the band's concession stand. This is un-American, not to mention it puts a damper on school spirit. We do not have to be for one or the other - we can support all "Eagles", whether they have a football, pompoms or a trumpet in band!

Eagle Fan,
******

*I changed the name of the team she was referring to.

For anyone who doesn't know any better. I've got a kid in the band. And boy was I steamed. It makes my blood pressure go up just reading it again.

I Just Can't Bear It

I've decided it might not be a downward spiral. I may just be a bear and nobody told me. Here it is the verge of winter, I've put on a lot of weight, I can hardly keep my eyes open, and I get really angry when kids poke at me with sticks.

I was published in the paper today. In fact the entire page two of the paper was filled with responses to the letter that made me so mad. All responses were by band parents. It would be really interesting to know how many people submitted letters.

Counting down the days till Thanksgiving. After which I will officially go into hibernation.

Two Things that Contribute to High Blood Pressure

First, my three year old VERY expensive Maytag washer is dead. How do I know it's dead? The week of October 6th it overflowed, and afterward started getting a code that I couldn't decipher, so I went online to try to figure out what the code meant. That's when I found the hundreds of complaints about my washer. Complaint after complaint, one bad story after another. So I went to the Maytag website and contacted the person listed as public relations, and I wrote her a very nice letter explaining my problem. No, seriously, it was a very nice letter. And someone from the executive offices of Maytag/Whirlpool called me back and was really nice and wanted to "see what he could do to get me back in business". He called while I was unloading my first load of laundry at the laundromat. That was the week of OCTOBER THE SIXTH. The friendly Maytag Repairman (and he is really quite friendly), came to my house two days later and it is now November 17th. He has been to my house six times and has replaced the cutoff valve, the pump, the computer board, the clutch and the transmission. She still no worky. I have schlepped laundry for six to the "Laundry Room" once or twice a week.

In the plus column, I have shelled out no money. In the minus column, I have schlepped laundry for six to the "Laundry Room" once or twice a week for the last 7 weeks. Did I tell ya'll the story where Peach woke up the Sunday after the family reunion and puked all over her bed. Yep, another trip to the "Laundry Room". The lady that works at the "Laundry Room" doesn't beleive I have a broken washer anymore. "Whatever lady, face it, you're slummin at the laundromat." Not that there's anything wrong with that. I am currently waiting for the phone call that tells me what the next part they'd like to try to replace this week.

Number two, this lady wrote a letter to the editor that really made me mad. Okay, this is how I can tell that I'm a little bit on the edge right now. Not that I've never read a letter to the editor that made me mad. But I actually responded with a letter of my own. This is not good. I live in a town of just over 5000 people, I can't make a friend if my life depended on it, now I've gone and ruined any chance I have by writing a freakin letter to the editor to start a feud between the Football parents and the Band parents. It's not good. It seemed like a good idea at the time. In fact at the time, there wasn't anything else I could do. The paper comes out Thursday, so I read it Thursday and stewed on it the rest of the day. Then at 3:00 a.m. when I did my nightly run to the restroom, I spent the rest of the night composing nasty reply letters in my head. I stewed on it some more on Friday while I was trying to bake a cake for Peaches Birthday Party on Saturday, then at 3:00 a.m. I did my nightly run to the restroom and again started composing my letters. After two nights of no sleep, I got up to start hanging up balloons and streamers for the party and I burst into tears because that letter made me so mad and I just couldn't get a grip. So I decided the best thing to do was to just sit down, write the letter and then maybe I could let it go. The next thing I knew I was hitting the send button.

It does say that they receive so many letters that they can't print all the letters to the editor. That's the only hope I have, is that they were inundated with letters and that mine won't make the cut. I won't know until Thursday. Yeah, they won't take the letter unless you submit your real name, address and phone number. I didn't go with any of the nasty versions of the letter, so instead of compelling, it will just be embarrassing. I took cookie bars to my three new neighbors today. Hedging my bets with cookies.

The Greatest Barbie Toy Ever!

I've told ya'll that I always wanted a Barbie when I was little, but never got one. My Mom didn't like them, much like I detest Bratz dolls. So I was looking forward to the day when I could start buying Peach Barbies. Today is her seventh birthday, and guess what her Aunt Lisa sent her?

THE GREATEST BARBIE TOY EVER! This Barbie comes with her own dog. The dog eats dog food and (wait for it....)
poops the food.
The squeals of delight and laughter went on and on, and that was just me.

Evidence of the Lamest Halloween Ever

But cute...none-the-less.

WE'RE NUMBER THREE, WE'RE NUMBER THREE!

Our Mighty Eagle Band took the field first last night, and we took home the bronze at the end of the evening! What an exciting night! Thank you for all you prayers, my kid did NOT fall down. I cannot say that about all the bands, in fact the team that took first place in our area, had two kids fall down, but they took home the gold.

All the teams were SO good, I don't know how the judges do it!

After the kids marched we talked to John on the phone and asked how they felt like they did and he said they were really happy with their performance and all had a little cry when they walked off the field. What pressure! They were just so thrilled to march a clean program and have it over with, the medal was icing on the cake. And the icing on my cake?

NO MORE EARLY MORNING MARCHING PRACTICE AND NO MORE AFTER SCHOOL MARCHING PRACTICE!!!!!!!

The Tension is Rising!

We're in San Antonio at the State Marching Finals. (And me without my camera cord!)

Twenty bands marched in preleminaries today. They just announced the finalists (only seven finalists today) and we will be the first band to march at finals starting at 7:00 tonight. They will present the awards at 9:00 tonight.

The kids have done an outstanding job. The competition seems really tough. Since this is our first year, we really don't know what it's been like in the past, but these bands are really good. One of the teams is a military band (which was news to us) it was a lot of fun to watch, they made it to finals also.

I'm really confused about color guard. Some bands don't have one, some bands have huge ones, some bands have small ones. I don't know how you factor all that in. Plus, why would a person choose to learn how to twirl a rifle for half a year, only to have it be a GLARING error when you drop it in competition. No thanks, I'll play an instrument.

The kids worked SO hard this week and their director was REALLY hard on them, on Friday he finally complemented them and told them they looked ready. They were all flying high. Then at the football game Friday night, my kid fell down during the program. Can you even imagine the pressure? All I've been doing since this season started is praying, "Please Lord, just don't let him fall down."

Today no one's fallen. So far. Let us now bow our heads in a moment of silence.

Guess Who Advanced to State Yesterday?

WE DID!!

They did it! The area competition was in Fort Worth and the kids were the second band to play in preliminaries. I cried through the entire program. I am a complete and total wuss. Luckily the sun was in our eyes and I had on sunglasses. You think you won't be able to pick your kid out of a crowd, but you totally can. The first band started at 10:00 a.m. and we stayed till the lunch break at 12:00. Then we bailed and took the Littles out to eat. They had two more sections of bands and wouldn't announce finalists until 5:00. We went ahead and took the kids to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua, while the band went to eat pizza and back to the stadium to watch the rest of the bands.

We got back, headed into the stands and waited for the results. They announced us as the tenth out of ten bands going to finals. We were sweating it! Then the directors drew for marching order, we were the final band to march.

They were SO good! I managed not to cry this time.

The marching was over at 9:45 and they announced the state qualifiers at 10:00. Of twenty one bands, ten advanced to finals. Four bands qualified for state and we were fourth of four. The kids were upset. They're used to being number one. They've won three state championships in a row, but they have a super complicated program this year with a lot of difficulty and little fluff. The band director had said that this might be the year they didn't make it to state. So we lived to fight another day!

That one on the end is my kid! And he's brilliant!

We're off to San Antonio November 3rd and 4th. Now I just have to figure out how I'm gonna get there. I've got three kids to rent out, just in case anyone's short on chaos.